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Christine is sick, and i have a horrible sore at the back of my throat which makes swallowing rather painful. I've had an outbreak of cankers all throughout my mouth, which now seems to be fading except for the one right on a tonsil in the back. I'd had pain like this before and seen a doctor, so i know what's going on this time. Fortunately, the cankers are just painful and not flaring up and engaging a broader sense of malaise. Christine is very congested and woosy, though, so i need to help her in what little ways i can.
Yesterday's too-early awakening didn't cause too much cognitive distress during the workday. After the last call of the day Christine and i headed out into the bright afternoon. I had my glasses adjusted so they'd fit and then stopped by the library. I had my camera with me, so when we say the librarianship display with the Dewey cataloging books and the MARC hand book, Christine took a photo of me. I managed to screw up the display a little as the shelves are suspended from chains. Yeesh.
We considered stopping at a fish restaurant that was having an early happy hour, but none of the small plates seemed attractive. We walked down Castro St, noting all the restaurants closed, and ended up at the Mediterranean Grill. Their outside seating was still in the sun (the shade still had a chill to it), so we sat and i basked in the low sun and the reflection off the window. I indulged in a little bread, a glass of wine, and we split a prawn shish. All the other menu items were kebabs, no shish, and the wikipedia entry helps me understand the difference.
The wine (and bread?) and lack of sleep led to an extremely unproductive evening. And i can keep complaining: the iPod kept triggering the wake up alarm in the middle of the fall asleep music. I turned off the morning alarm, in hope that synchronizing the device on my laptop this morning will restore its sense of the proper order of things. Waking this morning was hard: i am thankful though, that i learned over the years that the gradual auditory wake-up in the winter months can be a nice replacement for the wake-up due to a brightening sky. (And in this place, the morning sky is too bright for Christine, so it's much more a year round thing with the blinds tightly closed.)
Yams: Osight calls, laundry [library committee stuff]
Care Check-In
Have i been using those tools that i know make my life better? (Or that i'm experimenting with?)
◊ be aware of joy and abundance (1):
◊ be aware of transitions (joy/flow/meander) (1):
I've been feeling a little down, of flat affect. It's not full blown depression, but i'm definitely down. Since -- Saturday? After Meeting Sunday i know i was feeling waves of sadness/despair that i couldn't tie down to things. In the same timeframe i've had the realization i will likely work another thirty years, into my early seventies. It's not that i have some idealization of retirement: my retired colleague's choices of activities after departure do not appeal. The women from Meeting who gather Friday morning to knit can only do so because they are not fully employed (indeed, retired).
It's sort of like i looked up from a hard and burdensome task and saw, "Oh my god, i'm not halfway done yet." I am unlikely to retire as early as my colleagues, in their early sixties, for financial reasons.
This may be a little of a midlife crisis: do i want to be managing software development the rest of my life (assuming i can keep those jobs)? I think i feel far more aged than my actual years.
Dinner out Saturday with my friend from Philadelphia, celebrating her birthday, makes me aware of how many of my in-person interactions are with people a decade plus older than i.
Anyhow.
◊ respond to weekly journal prompts & health chart (1): health chart for March not printed.
√ care for physical health - supplements, treatments, adaptions (1): I'm out of primrose/borage oil, and i did indulge in wheat Saturday night and last night. But other than that i think i'm caring for my teeth more consistently, i am taking other supplements (but need to add calcium)
◊ exercise or "work break walk" daily (1,4): Sunday walk (i think), yesterday, a bike ride in there somewhere. Not as regular as i'd like but it's on my mind as something to do.
√ use "emotional hacks" [1] to avoid paralysis (1,4): i could have become frustrated and inefficient yesterday with all the tech problems i was having, but railing against my imaginary arch nemesis let me laugh and move on.
◊ balance expressive creation, nurturing, and consuming others' (5,6):
√ ruthlessly delete cruft (1,4,6): The car is clear of the packing peanuts. We still have other things to deal with, but i'm going to give myself a pat on the back.
? keep up with to-do's without overwhelming self:
√ use mental/emotional bookmarking -- i've been thinking about this and have minor success in remembering things transitioning between work and home and starting back with work.
√ identify yams [2]: but then what, har-har. *sigh*
Aspects: 1. SELF 2. F&F 3. COM 4. WORK 5. CRT 6. HOME
[1] http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/1164774.html?thread=1319398#t1319398
[2] http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/1041377.html?thread=1116129#t1116129
updated 2010-01-08 reorg & rewrite
updated 2008-08-21 aspect notes
Yesterday's too-early awakening didn't cause too much cognitive distress during the workday. After the last call of the day Christine and i headed out into the bright afternoon. I had my glasses adjusted so they'd fit and then stopped by the library. I had my camera with me, so when we say the librarianship display with the Dewey cataloging books and the MARC hand book, Christine took a photo of me. I managed to screw up the display a little as the shelves are suspended from chains. Yeesh.
We considered stopping at a fish restaurant that was having an early happy hour, but none of the small plates seemed attractive. We walked down Castro St, noting all the restaurants closed, and ended up at the Mediterranean Grill. Their outside seating was still in the sun (the shade still had a chill to it), so we sat and i basked in the low sun and the reflection off the window. I indulged in a little bread, a glass of wine, and we split a prawn shish. All the other menu items were kebabs, no shish, and the wikipedia entry helps me understand the difference.
The wine (and bread?) and lack of sleep led to an extremely unproductive evening. And i can keep complaining: the iPod kept triggering the wake up alarm in the middle of the fall asleep music. I turned off the morning alarm, in hope that synchronizing the device on my laptop this morning will restore its sense of the proper order of things. Waking this morning was hard: i am thankful though, that i learned over the years that the gradual auditory wake-up in the winter months can be a nice replacement for the wake-up due to a brightening sky. (And in this place, the morning sky is too bright for Christine, so it's much more a year round thing with the blinds tightly closed.)
Yams: Osight calls, laundry [library committee stuff]
Care Check-In
Have i been using those tools that i know make my life better? (Or that i'm experimenting with?)
◊ be aware of joy and abundance (1):
◊ be aware of transitions (joy/flow/meander) (1):
I've been feeling a little down, of flat affect. It's not full blown depression, but i'm definitely down. Since -- Saturday? After Meeting Sunday i know i was feeling waves of sadness/despair that i couldn't tie down to things. In the same timeframe i've had the realization i will likely work another thirty years, into my early seventies. It's not that i have some idealization of retirement: my retired colleague's choices of activities after departure do not appeal. The women from Meeting who gather Friday morning to knit can only do so because they are not fully employed (indeed, retired).
It's sort of like i looked up from a hard and burdensome task and saw, "Oh my god, i'm not halfway done yet." I am unlikely to retire as early as my colleagues, in their early sixties, for financial reasons.
This may be a little of a midlife crisis: do i want to be managing software development the rest of my life (assuming i can keep those jobs)? I think i feel far more aged than my actual years.
Dinner out Saturday with my friend from Philadelphia, celebrating her birthday, makes me aware of how many of my in-person interactions are with people a decade plus older than i.
Anyhow.
◊ respond to weekly journal prompts & health chart (1): health chart for March not printed.
√ care for physical health - supplements, treatments, adaptions (1): I'm out of primrose/borage oil, and i did indulge in wheat Saturday night and last night. But other than that i think i'm caring for my teeth more consistently, i am taking other supplements (but need to add calcium)
◊ exercise or "work break walk" daily (1,4): Sunday walk (i think), yesterday, a bike ride in there somewhere. Not as regular as i'd like but it's on my mind as something to do.
√ use "emotional hacks" [1] to avoid paralysis (1,4): i could have become frustrated and inefficient yesterday with all the tech problems i was having, but railing against my imaginary arch nemesis let me laugh and move on.
◊ balance expressive creation, nurturing, and consuming others' (5,6):
√ ruthlessly delete cruft (1,4,6): The car is clear of the packing peanuts. We still have other things to deal with, but i'm going to give myself a pat on the back.
? keep up with to-do's without overwhelming self:
√ use mental/emotional bookmarking -- i've been thinking about this and have minor success in remembering things transitioning between work and home and starting back with work.
√ identify yams [2]: but then what, har-har. *sigh*
Aspects: 1. SELF 2. F&F 3. COM 4. WORK 5. CRT 6. HOME
[1] http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/1164774.html?thread=1319398#t1319398
[2] http://elainegrey.livejournal.com/1041377.html?thread=1116129#t1116129
updated 2010-01-08 reorg & rewrite
updated 2008-08-21 aspect notes
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