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Tuesdays are just a little too packed for me. This morning the home network went down just as i made it on line. I was searching for a replacement data and charging cable for my phone, as last night i discovered mine must have been bent around enough to become quite unreliable. I had been highly annoyed to find the new phones came with a different USB port than all the mini USB cables i had used, but i'm happy to find it's a standard (micro USB) and to find adapters and retractable cords and all sorts of things. The adapters are the happiest find, given the number of mini USB to USB cables around the house.
Health wise, i'm wondering if the positive feelings of late last week were entirely chemical (and fading). Another small ulcer was on my tongue this morning, keeping yesterday's new ulcer company. I wonder if the steroid i used inside my mouth had built up over the four days and perhaps i had ingested more than expected. Perhaps that steroid in my system contributed significantly to the shift last Wednesday. I stopped treating on Wednesday, and by Monday the steroids had perhaps left my system. A canker formed.
And now this 7 am meeting is on "Domain Architecture" and i'm feeling a familiar feeling of dread. What is this dread? A sense of:
1) OMG yet another power point, how much time did he spend on this?
2) OMG what a great big document
3) OMG how *CHARMING* is it that we have this nice big set of architectural principles that who the hell will have enough time to read on their own?
I think part of my feeling is that i am so peripheral and only useful for ... and there are the tears. Bloody hell. I feel like a mule.
After meeting chat with Christine:
* She hears my sense of intimidation.
* She hears my frustration with the uncertainty of expectations with this division meeting. (IE: she asks questions i can't answer, and i'm irritated that she even asks things like "how often would you be expected to present?" How the hell would i know?)
* We agree i still seem burnt out.
As a side comment: Sunday evening i recognized some mid back pain, and it was there yesterday. I switched to the large monitor at work yesterday (which allows better posture). I'll try to be good at taking care at my posture and stretching.
Today i'm supposed to think about creative things and i just *can't*. I'll do that tomorrow. I will note that in Meeting, feeling so good, my muse kept offering things for me to create. Color and color and pattern and the feel of making and structure and interconnection and color and color. Waves of ideas. Dad and i spoke briefly yesterday morning, and he was essentially advocating that i become an inventor, and sharing all the ideas he had for inventions but never built. I don't have that sort of idea so much. And perhaps because i've watched the failure of so many .com ideas (some more closely than others) i'm jaded at the thought of them. I also know the challenges in bringing them forward in a way he doesn't.
I did have an idea for a facebook "game" but it's not in Christine's focus right now.
Health wise, i'm wondering if the positive feelings of late last week were entirely chemical (and fading). Another small ulcer was on my tongue this morning, keeping yesterday's new ulcer company. I wonder if the steroid i used inside my mouth had built up over the four days and perhaps i had ingested more than expected. Perhaps that steroid in my system contributed significantly to the shift last Wednesday. I stopped treating on Wednesday, and by Monday the steroids had perhaps left my system. A canker formed.
And now this 7 am meeting is on "Domain Architecture" and i'm feeling a familiar feeling of dread. What is this dread? A sense of:
1) OMG yet another power point, how much time did he spend on this?
2) OMG what a great big document
3) OMG how *CHARMING* is it that we have this nice big set of architectural principles that who the hell will have enough time to read on their own?
I think part of my feeling is that i am so peripheral and only useful for ... and there are the tears. Bloody hell. I feel like a mule.
After meeting chat with Christine:
* She hears my sense of intimidation.
* She hears my frustration with the uncertainty of expectations with this division meeting. (IE: she asks questions i can't answer, and i'm irritated that she even asks things like "how often would you be expected to present?" How the hell would i know?)
* We agree i still seem burnt out.
As a side comment: Sunday evening i recognized some mid back pain, and it was there yesterday. I switched to the large monitor at work yesterday (which allows better posture). I'll try to be good at taking care at my posture and stretching.
Today i'm supposed to think about creative things and i just *can't*. I'll do that tomorrow. I will note that in Meeting, feeling so good, my muse kept offering things for me to create. Color and color and pattern and the feel of making and structure and interconnection and color and color. Waves of ideas. Dad and i spoke briefly yesterday morning, and he was essentially advocating that i become an inventor, and sharing all the ideas he had for inventions but never built. I don't have that sort of idea so much. And perhaps because i've watched the failure of so many .com ideas (some more closely than others) i'm jaded at the thought of them. I also know the challenges in bringing them forward in a way he doesn't.
I did have an idea for a facebook "game" but it's not in Christine's focus right now.