![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So, in adventures of self care, i now have highlights in my hair. No one will consciously notice. I don't think anyone who sees me via video will notice even subconsciously. We went two shades lighter and throughout all the hair. If anything, it's like she dyed half of my hair, strand by strand, and it looks incredibly natural. 'Spensive in both time and money, but apparently low maintenance, and thus should last four months.
I need to wait for it to be lighter outside to take the after photo. I am not confident even after the light gets brighter outside that the "after" photo will be distinctive from the "before".
I'll share, whatever the outcome.
The department of transportation is back fixing the road. I wish i knew whether what we have experienced was phased fixing - first must do X, then Y -- and they just left the job between X & Y. Maybe the first phase was excavating areas and filling and now they are repaving the whole surface?
Last week, on the 14th, Christine's brother called me. I was reserved and resisted all the responses i've been socialized to make that take the responsibility off the other. Part of my mind accuses, "Rude!" but i resist that label. Christine's brother pled ignorance and blamed his wife and offered the wishy-washy half-apology of "If i hurt your feelings, i'm sorry." He did say the letter was clear, so there should have been no "if". At the end of the very brief call he said we should get together, sooner rather than later. Knowing how Christine has written and called to propose things, the statement sounded more like a request for assurance rather than a genuine desire. And i did not provide the assurance.
It felt good to be able to act as this defense for Christine. I know she aches over the empty relationship and wishes it was otherwise. For her to have received the half apology with no acknowledgement of her experience would have been terribly painful - -and i think it would have been very hard for her to not provide the gracious responses.
I need to wait for it to be lighter outside to take the after photo. I am not confident even after the light gets brighter outside that the "after" photo will be distinctive from the "before".
I'll share, whatever the outcome.
The department of transportation is back fixing the road. I wish i knew whether what we have experienced was phased fixing - first must do X, then Y -- and they just left the job between X & Y. Maybe the first phase was excavating areas and filling and now they are repaving the whole surface?
Last week, on the 14th, Christine's brother called me. I was reserved and resisted all the responses i've been socialized to make that take the responsibility off the other. Part of my mind accuses, "Rude!" but i resist that label. Christine's brother pled ignorance and blamed his wife and offered the wishy-washy half-apology of "If i hurt your feelings, i'm sorry." He did say the letter was clear, so there should have been no "if". At the end of the very brief call he said we should get together, sooner rather than later. Knowing how Christine has written and called to propose things, the statement sounded more like a request for assurance rather than a genuine desire. And i did not provide the assurance.
It felt good to be able to act as this defense for Christine. I know she aches over the empty relationship and wishes it was otherwise. For her to have received the half apology with no acknowledgement of her experience would have been terribly painful - -and i think it would have been very hard for her to not provide the gracious responses.
Tags:
no subject
And the 'blamed his wife' thing makes it worse, in my mind.
no subject
My G-d, how horrible we humans are. :(
no subject
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" at least avoids the gaslighting aspect, even if the implication intended is "your feelings are too fragile".