Outline

[elainegrey]

Much gloom in the weather this week. Wednesday i walked Carrie down the gravel road across the street, past where it had washed out in Monday to Tuesday night's rain, and on a perfectly even and flat area fell down and bruised hand and leg. I felt pretty shaken and was pretty sore, but am now OK. Carrie was spooked but came back to me quickly, an improvement over the last time i fell when walking her.

As always, there lurks a worry in the back of my mind about how frequently i fall or walk into corners. I didn't break anything so I'm not old yet, i tell myself.

I've coped with the gloom by running the SAD lamp all day and having a second afternoon cup of coffee. Evenings haven't been particularly productive.

We have invited my folks over for Thanksgiving brunch, a meal that will bypass some holiday entrenched issues and will hopefully be joyful for Christine. (My sister's family is out of town so there isn't the usual large joint meal between my sister's family, her sister in law's family, and my parents. We've joined for desert in the past few years, bypassing the dead carcass, some dysfunctions, and making it easier for Christine. Breakfast for four is a nice scale for us, and my parents were delighted to be invited.

I've ordered a Christmas tree from a fundraiser in the little mill town with the Bridge, and we have a large so-called Moravian star (made in Mexico) to hang on the front porch this year. I've gotten so out of the habit of observing holidays -- particularly with decorations -- between hermit lifestyle and dealing with Christine's Elephants. (Christine's Elephants have holiday triggers.) With my own change of going off the SSRI, i suspect any disappointment that had been flattened out over the years would have been felt acutely, so i am glad to have some plans to observe.

Comments

[amaebi]

I am wishing you influxes of interesting and delightful things. Birds come to mind.

*love*

[zlabya]

I'm sorry to read about your depression and I am glad you're taking steps in healthy self-care. Also, I know how hard it is to be the spouse/partner of someone who has multiple major issues (I'm clumsy, and loud noises set off husband's PTSD, not a good combination, for one).

I hope Christine is able to enjoy the holiday despite her triggers. Hugs for both of you, and petting for the fur-persons.

[johnpalmer]

If depression makes you feel a bit less "there" mentally, that causes clumsiness for me. Usually, it's only after I've had the second or third thing go wrong that seems like it's *perfectly* set up to frustrate me that I realize I'm not well focused, and it isn't that I'm doing anything wrong, I'm just not doing it entirely *right*. I'm not putting the cup far enough away from the edge of the counter; I'm not focusing on what I reach for, and how good my grip is; I'm not taking surroundings into account when I take an action.

If your legs aren't super-stable, I imagine the same thing could turn into walking hazards