elainegrey

Friday, late in the morning, i wrote:

Happy vacation to me -- sorta. I am a little too aware of what is going on at work, and i feel a little guilty leaving folks to have to cope.

(Christine is now unpacking the grammar of "sorta.")

We are not going kayaking: Christine has a client deliverable to wrap up, and i have a lengthy to-do list. If it dries a little, i may tidy the deck.

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Yesterday, i turned to the power of "Dungeons and Desktops," listing several classes of "to do" on my whiteboard, and assigning numbers to each task (the more needed tasks received more numbers). Then i set up a timer -- the iOS 30/30 timer -- and began virtually rolling my dice. I had a lovely productive midday, hitting some housework, some desk organization, and my top tasks. I think i found a good rhythm, too, recognizing the transitions i need and types of task types. The last time i was really trying this, i felt rushed and a little stressed.

( Details of this round of Dungeons and Desktops )
--==∞==--

This past week has had evening social interactions, far above and beyond my usual evening patterns. Wednesday night was a visit with mopalia; Thursday a visit by a friend from Meeting who is planning an unconference on work and turning to me for accompaniment; and last night was a Meeting event during which i hung out with two kids.

It's meant that the mornings have had more time spent on reading than journaling. (Having a couple drinks Friday night and a glass of wine late last night has also affected my rise time in the morning.)

I suspect most of today will follow the same D&D practices of yesterday. It was good to make progress across a broad swathe of stuff, and perhaps with a little momentum, i will be able to do this D&D thing in the evenings next week. Last semester, Christine's classes lead to my evenings spent devouring TV series. I know part of that was depression, but part of that surely pushed the spiral of depression down.

This semester i hope to move up a spiral of engagement. My forty-fifth year begins in March. It is not *quite* what i expect to be the middle of my life, as plenty of genetic evidence points to living to 95, but this work with the career counsellor will hopefully help me decide what i want to be when i grow up. With that direction, perhaps watching three episodes of a TV series might be less attractive than moving in a particular direction.

First, log: started taking the eye antibiotic because i'm tired of whatever is going on with my eye. I don't quite have the unpleasant symptoms that would warrant the antibiotic, but i do think there's some sort of film in my eye when i awaken.



Meanwhile, my vanity makes itself known. What if my eye never returns to its former condition. What if it's just pooled fluid*, the muscle is broken down, what if, what if? Of course, the swelling is making the huge dark shadows under my eye disappear, and the jowly developments along my jaw line aren't going away either.

....

I haven't been journalling this week. Exhaustion stands out for me: yet another symptom or cause of the miscellaneous symptoms? I've swallowed media, most memorable was watching all the episodes of Neverwhere (streaming) although i devoured two episodes of Torchwood as well. The Women of Wonder (antique) collection of Sci Fi stories and a Lord Peter Wimsey novel (Unnatural Death) have stood me well.

Christine has picked up her cross stitch again; i'm working on crocheted squares for my hassock cosy. There's something wonderfully quiet about both of us sitting in the living room, puttering with baseball radio on**, passing the Scrabble board back and forth. Utterly domestic. It's not that much different from evenings spent with our laptops in there, which i also enjoy, but we aren't quite as absorbed by our stitching as we are with our digital projects.

I hope we go cycling today. I'm off to Meeting shortly, and i'll stay for a discussion of a decision that's to be made at Yearly regarding hiring a full time youth coordinator. Outreach? Or paying someone to do something we should be individually doing? And can we, how can we afford it?

I've go my D20 and my list of things needing doing, and i'll plug away at that this afternoon. Yesterday's experience was satisfying: just do a step towards whatever and then roll again. All of the things are desk/digital stuff: correspondence and planning and filing and writing. Instead of being distracted after i finish a microtask -- an email dealt with -- i'm intentional in the rolling of the dice and moving on. It may still keep me in email, for example, but instead of dealing with an utterly random email, i deal with one regarding the task area just rolled. A way of coping with this weekend's butterfly brain. I wouldn't fight going deep in a topic area: it can just be so hard for me to get deep on sheer will power.

* I did try sleeping on my back and other side these past few nights in hopes of gravity helping, but no help and weird dreams.
** the MLB's streaming version with the fancy graphical depictions of the plays that runs at least one pitch behind. I begin to wonder if it's any help.