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There's a promise of pleasant weather for this weekend where the "highs" of 85F (29.4 C) are the sames as the "feels like". Yesterday's high was an unremarkable 96F (35.6 C) so bloth lower temperatures and lower humidity seem miraculous. I have dreams of doing that probably far outstrip my spoons, but i think i can start mowing down stilt grass and i'm delighted to start.
I don't know what i'm going to do about the garden in the circle that has been taken over what is locally called goosegrass (Eleusine indica). String trimmer than flame? I note it greens up pretty quickly even after the flame thrower in the drive.
And i also want to start flame clearing some areas inside the orchard of forbs and grasses to plant some natives. I'm thinking that i can get some of the native plants i want (and have pre-paid for) and plant them in some vegetable garden locations and pots while burning away through the first flush of winter weeds.
--== ∞ ==--
I've had some grief-proximate waves this week that left me very drained. There's something about realizing you are the only person who had quite as miserable a relationship with your mother. Because she fixated on me, i think my brother was somewhat ignored. So his is a very different miserable relationship. And my Dad adored her while being enmeshed in their arguments and fights. He asserted on our drive Saturday morning that "maybe things started going bad" after he retired. I quickly corrected him, and then quickly shut myself up before i started on a long list of memories that i didn't need to resurrect.
Right now i want to tell my six year old self, setting off in the woods with a loaf of bread and peanut butter, that it is OK to return home. She is not why her parents fight, and she is not responsible for her mother being so miserable. She is a great kid, and she's doing great taking care of herself. Stick with the books, kid. You'll get through.
I don't think my Dad really understood the level i filled in for him as a target when he was gone, and i don't think i need him to know. I need Dad to become more thoughtful of others and listen to them better in the here and now (which, admittedly, is part of Mom's litany of complaints): if we are going to talk harm, we'll talk harm here and now where he can improve his relationships with his grandchildren and children.
I know my sister understands we are different in our grieving, and i feel she is being sensitive to that.
--== ∞ ==--
I can't quite put my finger on my work blues, my physical fitness blues aren't helped by stress eating, and the home water system is likely invaded by a sulfurous gas exuding bacteria that made the water filter unit pitch black. Discovering the horrible blackness of the water filter yesterday grossed both Christine and i out. I'm pretty hardy and can sorta convince myself to keep drinking the water, especially after the third call with our water consultants where we got to speak with the competent person, P--. P-- assured us there wasn't a health issue, in a much more competent way than the previous two who didn't seem to recognize the issues. Sounds like my idea of bleaching the lines is what we'll likely do, except they have a clue as to how long the bleach needs to be in the lines (4 hours!). Anyhow water issues are distressing.
I don't know what i'm going to do about the garden in the circle that has been taken over what is locally called goosegrass (Eleusine indica). String trimmer than flame? I note it greens up pretty quickly even after the flame thrower in the drive.
And i also want to start flame clearing some areas inside the orchard of forbs and grasses to plant some natives. I'm thinking that i can get some of the native plants i want (and have pre-paid for) and plant them in some vegetable garden locations and pots while burning away through the first flush of winter weeds.
--== ∞ ==--
I've had some grief-proximate waves this week that left me very drained. There's something about realizing you are the only person who had quite as miserable a relationship with your mother. Because she fixated on me, i think my brother was somewhat ignored. So his is a very different miserable relationship. And my Dad adored her while being enmeshed in their arguments and fights. He asserted on our drive Saturday morning that "maybe things started going bad" after he retired. I quickly corrected him, and then quickly shut myself up before i started on a long list of memories that i didn't need to resurrect.
Right now i want to tell my six year old self, setting off in the woods with a loaf of bread and peanut butter, that it is OK to return home. She is not why her parents fight, and she is not responsible for her mother being so miserable. She is a great kid, and she's doing great taking care of herself. Stick with the books, kid. You'll get through.
I don't think my Dad really understood the level i filled in for him as a target when he was gone, and i don't think i need him to know. I need Dad to become more thoughtful of others and listen to them better in the here and now (which, admittedly, is part of Mom's litany of complaints): if we are going to talk harm, we'll talk harm here and now where he can improve his relationships with his grandchildren and children.
I know my sister understands we are different in our grieving, and i feel she is being sensitive to that.
--== ∞ ==--
I can't quite put my finger on my work blues, my physical fitness blues aren't helped by stress eating, and the home water system is likely invaded by a sulfurous gas exuding bacteria that made the water filter unit pitch black. Discovering the horrible blackness of the water filter yesterday grossed both Christine and i out. I'm pretty hardy and can sorta convince myself to keep drinking the water, especially after the third call with our water consultants where we got to speak with the competent person, P--. P-- assured us there wasn't a health issue, in a much more competent way than the previous two who didn't seem to recognize the issues. Sounds like my idea of bleaching the lines is what we'll likely do, except they have a clue as to how long the bleach needs to be in the lines (4 hours!). Anyhow water issues are distressing.