elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Sunday, December 12th, 2021 09:00 am
Popcorn: having grown lots of a mix of pop corn varieties and selected for purple, what to do with it all. Pop it? It's not popping. Internet says it needs to be at 15%. Some grower showed corn in a jar with a small hygrometer in the jar, showing a reading in the teens. So, the hygrometers were not too dear, so i bought a pair, and the jar read about what the house read (in the 50 percent humidity). I tried dehydrating a cup of corn, 4 hours at 120°F, and returned it to the jar. After a few days, it read in the 30% region. OK: so, corn is too damp for popping. I've dried all the shucked corn for 8 hours, and the jar is reading 30% now. I assume what is happening is the very dry corn is sucking the moisture out of the air in the jar.

It is so humid here. I'd say we were in a drought, but we have finally gotten some rain. Might just be abnormally dry.

Q ... ... Quality queries: i'm not doing an hour's meditation on Sunday, but i am taking fifteen minutes most mornings to just sit with a dozing Christine. I think if i were to find some queries i could help myself get back into good meditation practice in smaller doses.

Raking and flaming: With a little rain Friday-Saturday night, i felt i could flame weed the drive after raking up pine needles. I raked up some in the garden, but covered the pile against the Saturday-Sunday night rain. I'll go out and burn some more this morning. It was very warm yesterday: today the flame might be pleasant.

Something to watch:
Amazon Prime's description of Clarkson’s Farm: “Jeremy Clarkson is a journalist, a broadcaster, and a man who travels the world to slide sideways in supercars while shouting,” Amazon explains. “He is not a farmer, which is unfortunate because he’s bought a 1000-acre farm in the English countryside and decided to run it himself, despite knowing nothing whatsoever about farming.”

We were very entertained by the first episode and look forward to more. I hope it creates an understanding of what farmers go through. His financial capability does insulate him from the realities of the losses he experiences in the first episode.


Tornadoes: i saw the news within moments of waking on Saturday. My friend K and i had commented on the way it looked like tornado weather as we looked at the front and the wind patterns midday on Friday. Eye on the Storm has a good write up.
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Sunday, May 3rd, 2015 05:27 pm
"I don't suffer fools gladly," said our clerk, as he was consoling me. I'd asked about whether i was noticeably snippy with the clerk of a committee. His answer, "Yes, you are obviously having a problem with Friend Easy Going." I blanched, and he went out of his way to say it wasn't bad and i shouldn't be too hard on myself, and his colleagues just accept his explosions.*

I listened, but also recalled the recent lectures on how i intimidated the team and lost people's willingness to engage in calls. I wondered if the clerk has someone to tell him the truth.

I recall, too, my well appreciated boss of many years telling me that i didn't suffer fools gladly. There was an odd tone in his voice as he told me that: i wonder now if i missed a subtext.

Ah well, one gets older and hopefully keeps learning.

This was after worship, during which i visualized sitting in my meditation garden mandala. In front of me was a black mess of resentment, caused by Friend Easy Going's clerking style which seems to try and pass off all the work to others. "Resentment isn't like aphids," i thought. "I can't just spray soapy water on them. It's not like rot, or like dried out soil." The black mess became a large rock, in the way of my sense of orderly paths in the garden.

What do you do with rocks? My first thought was that you haul them out and make walls out of them. The rock grew bigger, more obviously a rock outcrop, and clearly impossible to move.

Ah, i realized: the rock is not my resentment, i am resenting the rock. The rock is a thing that is. You accept the rock as part of the lay of the land, and shape the garden with that land - not by imposing will on it. (Having a visualized garden it is far too easy to impose will.)

I know now Friend Easy Going is.** I need to accept that this Friend is not likely to change style any time soon, recognize that i will have the details and notes Friend Easy Going will forget to bring, and accept that the Friend has other gifts (much more social, approachable, ... easy going) that i do not. I can use my gifts to help make things smooth.

It's not like i am being misused. (I do wish Friend Easy Going would have more direct language when making requests.)

* And also the clerk let me know that Friend Easy Going has caused others to have issues with the Friend's leadership and that the Friend is aware that better clerking skills would serve all better.

** Christine completes my sentence with "is ... dumb as a rock," but getting others to do the work is not evidence of an inability to articulate.)
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Wednesday, August 7th, 2013 09:14 pm
11 hour 40 min day today. I am aware i am dealing with understaffing by providing us with an extra half staff member.

I clerked midweek meeting for worship for all two of us (we need to publicize). I got there in time to open and settle into the space before the other person (who thought she was supposed to open) showed up. As i waited, i flipped open to the bible in my Kindle app, some (mysterious to me) New King James version. (I grew up with the New English Bible, not available on the Kindle). The simple description of Ecclesiastes as reading like a spiritual journal appealed to me. After a long work day, the writer of the book's focus on labor caught my attention. Wikipedia notes, "The subject of Ecclesiastes is the pain and frustration engendered by observing and meditating on the distortions and inequities pervading the world, the uselessness of human deeds, the limitations of wisdom and righteousness."

When i read "all is vanity" i found myself interpreting vanity as illusion. This translation notes the Hebrew for the word translated as "vanity" means literally "breath" or "vapor." The correlation with Maya strikes me even more deeply.

The "for everything there is a season" section reads differently in context. In some ways, the author appears frustrated by cycles and repetition. There's something about the writing that makes me feel the author(s) are just at the edge of seeing past that vanity, the illusion, and yet ...

I've not read the whole book, and as i have a desire to reflect on the transformative nature of love, i don't see the author leading me where i want to go.

I recognize the time i put into my work is driven by my care for colleagues. I recognize that this is playing into a dysfunctional environment.

While i understand what i see and experience is illusion, there's a a slight current i sense that i believe is the power of love. In a moment, its hardly noticeable, yet i believe there's a geologic scale to the process, and i want to align myself to that current.

I suppose i tangle with these thoughts because i can articulate how i am affecting individual's lives through my current work, i can articulate how this work affects communities and creates access to more of the cultural resources for all. Yet it's a dysfunctional context. When i look at what i imagine doing,dream of doing, it seems altogether selfish and indulgent (as well as unlikely to be sustaining).

"All things are wearisome; more than one can express; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, the ear is not satisfied with hearing."

My faith is the faith that denies this even when it is the most concrete expression of my experience. I will trust that slight current and allow myself to be drawn towards joy.

--==∞==--

In completely different news, Edward brought home another cat. Christine grounded him all morning, and Edward didn't understand. He kept coming back to us in the office, asking to be let out. Eventually we found a stash of jingle bells. To the two already on his collar, we have added five new bells. I want a hovering neon sign to follow him around. "The cat is right here!"
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Tuesday, October 11th, 2011 06:23 am
We had rain overnight, gentle drizzle. It's so odd to have rain here when it's warm enough to comfortably have the windows open.

I'm back to trying to figure out when i should be in the office and when not. I had someone skype me moments ago asking if i could be in a 9 am meeting tomorrow, which is when i can drive to the office. It took us a back and forth to realize it's a 9 am Eastern meeting, 6 am my time. I still am blocked to driving in at 9 then or missing my 8 and 8:30 am meetings. Meal eating and commute times seem to appear and disappear like gaps on those sliding block puzzles.

I suppose i should try and get an optometrist appointment today for next week before things go all slidy-block there.

I don't feel reflective, so i lift Plain Living: A Quaker Path to Simplicity off my desk shelf with a little prayer. The bookmark is at three queries:

Do i make time in my life to remember the divine purpose behind each of my tasks?
Do i seek to simplify my life by listening to guidance from an inward holy center?
What promotes and what hinders my search for inward simplicity?

meditation )
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Sunday, January 30th, 2011 09:57 pm
Did Vikings navigate by polarized light?
'Sunstone' crystals may have helped seafarers to find the Sun on cloudy days.
http://www.nature.com/news/2011/110131/full/news.2011.58.html?s=news_rss&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+news/rss/news_s13+(NatureNews+-+Physics)

--==∞==--

Christine's fine, but she was in an accident today. Insurance company tag begins tomorrow morning. I may end up working at home tomorrow.

--==∞==--

Meeting was intense for me, with a sense that i needed to plant a seed of hope that there is a way for the both aspects of me that i value professionally to play a role in work (as was clear to N that i want both) despite the assertions on Friday that the two parts can both be done well. In some ways, i know i am not doing both well. But maybe ... so ... HOPE.

And then i remembered years ago, planting the seed of joy, and how there is no way to eradicate the joy, it is always with me, and will thrive when i shelter it and water it.

The certainty of the promise was so present with me during worship -- yet for all the wonder, physically i am tense and feeling drained as i have these realizations.

My mind wandered to craft work and thinking about using the butane torch on copper wire. (http://www.how-to-make-jewelry.com/balled-wire-headpins.html) After imagining/planning i realized how refreshed i was, how the tightness of the sense of gifted joy had disappated.

This seems to be a good way to regulate my energy.

--==∞==--

I estimated that i would have 3.3 spoons to spend between noon-5 today, 2 spoons just from the 5 hours. At the end, i'd only spent 1.8 spoons over the 2 hours (not that i had much left over).

Some reasons why i didn't have 3.3 spoons

- broke blender, burning out the motor until is smoked making a veatloaf
- veatloaf is "off" (beansprouts giving it a edge?)**
- one hour watching TV (queasy tummy due to blender fumes?)
- accident stress

** interestingly, once i realized the off flavor was due to the protein powder i was "getting rid of" by including in the veat loaf, i didn't feel so disappointed and was able to move on more cheerfully.