Saturday's Post

Friday Christine found Rush's new album, which has a steampunk aesthetic to it. As i was adding music to my iTunes library, i started pondering my mess of genera classifications. We amused ourselves for quite a bit as i proposed bands and Christine classed them as alternative, alternative rock, progressive rock, rock, or punk.

I bought two of Joan Jett's albums and then we went off for dinner and a Discovery Channel show "Out of Egypt."

This morning, with Amazon's MP3 store still open on my laptop, we went into games of samplers. "What tracks should be in the '99 top power classics' collection?" i'd ask, and then search to verify they were there. (This was a bit more challenging than it sounds as the composers aren't listed.)

--==∞==--

Hours pass and lessons are learned. #1 Talking about where we are to be buried can trigger significant emotional reactions. #2 It's possible missing a dose of wellbutrin is more problematic than missing a dose of prozac. #3 Missing a dose of antihistamine can be a BIG MISTAKE. #4 Galaga on the XBox shows the paths the attackers are going to take and becomes far more easy than when you had to memorize the levels. Thank Heavens. #5 Peggle is still the most affirming game to win a level.

(no subject)

I've had my sleep interrupted for the software install with work twice and a Quaker matter once. I took the Quaker matter as a sign it was time to get up.

In waking, i fund myself in tears. I had cried a good bit yesterday, and i'd written off the tears to not taking the welbutrin and in an emotional negotiation of Christine's and my differences about internment plans. This morning a thought flitted across my mind -- that my parents will never drive home again and fight due to my grandfather's BS -- and i cried more. It's a relief.

The brokenness my parents experience is partly caused by the brokenness of my grandfather. My depression was not caused only by the long arguments my parents had, but i know that those arguments reinforced the trauma with which i coped with by depression.

Novels are written about family lineages passing on brokenness until the line ends or, somehow, there's a resolution.

I hope my siblings and i can shed this inheritance of brokenness.

[Brother]

I just found myself sobbing, and as i pieced my thoughts and tears together, i realized i was crying out of relief. There will never be another drive back from Florida for our parents where Granddad's judgement weighed on them like oppressive southern heat to only be broken by a long thundering argument.

My small young self is crying in relief.

I don't know if you'll have this experience or not, but i thought i should share. I felt i'd made more than enough room in my life to grieve him -- and i felt connections across time to him as a young sailor under threat and scared to death, being supported by the prayers of those focused on him in the present. But as these waves of tears hit me, i realize that there is also the change in the network of energies of our extended family, the way the network was under strain with Grandddad's (probably war torn) self exerting judgement across every connection.

As i write that, i think of things you've noted [====redacted====] wonder if that judgment is through Mom from Granddad, and judgement that may have also come from Granddad's minister fathers even earlier back. Is this [family name] judgement, that caused one alcoholic, one escape to the military, and one -- whatever Mom is -- [====redacted====] .

I suppose this is too long for you to read in your re-entry for your family and settling in to Singapore: i'm thinking of you all, regretting i didn't see the boys & Mindy this trip, and sending all my love your way.

[me]

(no subject)

I'm skimming the headlines in my RSS feed and note, "Gabby Douglas' mom filed for bankruptcy" as a headline. Who is Gabby Douglas, i wonder, and why should i care? So, i click to see the snippet, which says, "Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas." Well F*** You, Associated Press, for your unnecessary muckraking.

I say this out loud, with vehemence, and Christine points out that Gabby is the first African American gymnast to medal. This news prompted me to call down even more curses on the Associated Press and tweet a "Shame on you."

I'm curious whether any of y'all have followed this story and can defend it as being beyond sensationalistic racist muckraking?

The only times i think it's newsworthy that someone filed for bankruptcy is (a) when the same person is hawking investments and (b) when financial hardship might be motive in a crime.

Gossip, sheer gossip.

Grumpily.

(no subject)

amabei posted yesterday about pickled green peppercorns, which led me to read about capers on wikipedia, which has led me to desire greatly to grow a caper plant. Apparently notoriously difficult to grow from seed, i find my best deal is a plant in 3" pot for $45 http://www.mountainvalleygrowers.com/capspinoza.htm .

Maybe i should just pickle nasturtium seeds for a while.