mom and caa, us, weather, cats, depression, health, dawg

Sunday 13:08 - feeling clumsy as i try to leave a comment. I decide to start this journal entry and then realize i should go fill out my airtable (fancy spreadsheet) for the past few days.

13:33 I am avoiding interaction: i skipped Meeting and have a stack of meeting emails i am avoiding. I am semi-fabricating the excuse of a migraine. It wasn't a migraine but something like trimengial neuralgia with the left half of my face and scalp burning and aching for over 24 hours. I always feel i should push through, and i was able to do other things. Interact with humans other than Christine, not so much. And she's spending tons of time in the studio, polishing The Soundtrack of Now. I will get to hear the first installment soon.

The snow has been lovely. Our back yard, with the slight north slope with the tall pines to the south caught the snow that seemed to be blowing out of the north east. The front yard's north east corner was near empty. The back yard had snow still on Friday evening. Unfortunately the snow is not amenable for small grey kittens to "make water" as the euphemism goes, so Friday morning i found the dog bed had been used, and Saturday morning i caught her as she began to relieve her self right next to me in the bed. At least that misadventure only involved one sheet and the hated mattress. I woke suddenly this morning certain that another event had occurred, but i think i am merely confusing the heavy perfume from the cat "edition" of Nature's Miracle with what it is to cover. I carried her out to the new litter box in the back porch, our "sorry you can't use the wilderness" offering. I think she scampered around the snow to get to something comfortable.

I've "shoveled" a path on the deck and the deck stairs that should help. We shouldn't see freezing temperatures until next weekend, so the deck should be clear soon. Although i am looking out at the white glacier and not seeing much change. Meanwhile, the saucer magnolia looks like it's going to burst into pink blooms ANY MINUTE. Which means that with the freezing temperatures over next weekend it will be, yet again, frost burned for my birthday.

What weird weather.

17:09 I listened to Christine's first "chapter" and am just blown away. Not surprised, as i've enjoyed and been impressed by her writing and musings for decades. But... wow. https://www.patreon.com/perchance

Then i saw my sister had called and she had to cancel having breakfast with me (but we will still meet and strategized about mom & dad, and future work together). And she said my dad needed to talk about something with Mom -- some autoimmune issue may have cause the lung nodules and there's some doctor tracking that down. I may not have needed to say that i wonder about treating things when she has a degenerative cognitive condition, because Dad got sad, and i got sad too. A wave of grim mortality crashes over me.

One of the saddest things was Dad saying that mom had been so sweet the past few months - and i think of how bitter and acerbic she was in fighting with him as i grew up. Something about the wistfulness, the ache in his voice -- he isn't ready, he wants time with her. I witnessed their marriage and ... i just don't understand. I can't imagine.

I went out to play with the pets in the back yard as the sun goes down. We're hiding a rawhide chew for Carrie and letting her snuffle it out. It was hard a month or so ago for her to do it outside, but now she uses her nose and finds it. Marlowe ambushes and chases Carrie -- Carrie barely noticing. I suppose it's like a younger sibling "playing" with you when you have your big kid business going on. Seeing the boyos like lions prowling the savanna, and Carrie and Marlowe playing -- it's a tonic.