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Mom passed June 1st at 11:25.(This is twenty-one years after Christine's father passed away on the same day. Christine refers to it as the universe rhyming.) My sister was with her. She had brushed Mom's hair and washed her face, and was listening to John Denver's "Sunshine on My Shoulder" when Marie's breathing slowed, slowed, and then gently stopped. She had called Dad and i, but it was over very quickly. I arrived soon after. (And i lie to facebook and say Dad did too, but he did not)
Christine had dropped me off, and then came in. What could she do? I gathered a few things we wouldn't need including the empty mason jar we'd given Dad vodka in. She said she'd go get him some more. We pinged my brother N-- and fifteen minutes later he responded. His trans pacific flight had landed and he was getting his luggage at SFO before transitioning to his interstate flights. We were able to tell him about thirty minutes after Mom passed.
L's husband T-- showed up soon and was comforting L-- when Christine returned with vodka, a bottle of Absolut with Swedish water and winter wheat in honor of my mother for my Dad and a lovely Japanese vodka for L & T (and Grey Goose for our household, which will last forever because i won't use it to make extracts).
Christine and T left before Dad arrived. T would go collect all the guns at the ranch and Christine handled finding them a place to be kept. I didn't think of it, and i don't think it was necessary, but i approved on the principle that if Dad would be upset by it, it was the right thing to do, and if he didn't mind, then shrug, no harm. Most are rifles and shotguns, handed down through the family. (My brother, after hearing my sister and i relate this, noted that it seemed he would not need to debate with any of us over which guns he wanted.)
When Dad arrived we left him with Mom and went to the patio where L called Mom's brother, and I called her sister (my namesake).
Then there was the long afternoon sitting with Mom's body and Dad. At first, we thought we could bring my brother there to the hospice, but his arrival was too late for the body to be removed in the window allowed. I drove Dad to his home, and my sister picked me up around 6:30. Dad had consumed about half of the vodka.
A few hours later she picked me up so we could meet my brother at the airport after the 11 pm flight arrival. We returned him to my father who had only a little bit more of the vodka and seemed to be doing OK.
Mom's sister was going to take Amtrak up here, but instead went to the emergency room with a fairly concerning symptom. We don't have news. Her husband had been in the hospital through Tuesday for surgery for a kidney stone, so that's not easy either. Mom would want me to take care of Judy: i ponder what to do. ... so i tracked down her details (about the same time my sister could relay the details from a family member in Florida) and i had a short chat. Sounds like nothing horrible is happening.
Later, nothing horrible but some concerning issues with my aunt.
Mid-day i was distressed i couldn't find my inhaler and purse. Had my sister check her car, and eventually checked my Dad's place. After my mid-day outing i found it, "Found the purse & within the inhaler. It was near where I have to shut the garage lights off. I found it because the garage lights were still on. ADHD distraction for the win."
Because i was going to look for the purse, i drove my mom's cousin to my dad's place. All was lovely until complained about the large campaign signs for sheriff (up since last winter for an election in the coming November). He mentioned their governor's campaign and their hero Ron DeSantis. "I don't know your opinion of DeSantis," he said. Really? You can't guess? I was polite as possible saying people in the state get to judge their governor. I have to say the witholding funding from schools that had masking covid policies was what first came to mind and not the Don't Say Gay bill, but i DO have STRONG opinions about that man. That put me in a funk, too.
When i got home i got a text from my manager, checking in. I shared my news; he inquired if he should cancel the 14 June summit in Ohio. Oh, so, we do have a plan to meet in Ohio. So there's that. I said no: i think i'll be doing OK, and my brother is here with my dad. Later, my Dad will be alone (and i wonder when the rhinoplasty will be).
I spent over an hour looking at bulbs.
Christine had dropped me off, and then came in. What could she do? I gathered a few things we wouldn't need including the empty mason jar we'd given Dad vodka in. She said she'd go get him some more. We pinged my brother N-- and fifteen minutes later he responded. His trans pacific flight had landed and he was getting his luggage at SFO before transitioning to his interstate flights. We were able to tell him about thirty minutes after Mom passed.
L's husband T-- showed up soon and was comforting L-- when Christine returned with vodka, a bottle of Absolut with Swedish water and winter wheat in honor of my mother for my Dad and a lovely Japanese vodka for L & T (and Grey Goose for our household, which will last forever because i won't use it to make extracts).
Christine and T left before Dad arrived. T would go collect all the guns at the ranch and Christine handled finding them a place to be kept. I didn't think of it, and i don't think it was necessary, but i approved on the principle that if Dad would be upset by it, it was the right thing to do, and if he didn't mind, then shrug, no harm. Most are rifles and shotguns, handed down through the family. (My brother, after hearing my sister and i relate this, noted that it seemed he would not need to debate with any of us over which guns he wanted.)
When Dad arrived we left him with Mom and went to the patio where L called Mom's brother, and I called her sister (my namesake).
Then there was the long afternoon sitting with Mom's body and Dad. At first, we thought we could bring my brother there to the hospice, but his arrival was too late for the body to be removed in the window allowed. I drove Dad to his home, and my sister picked me up around 6:30. Dad had consumed about half of the vodka.
A few hours later she picked me up so we could meet my brother at the airport after the 11 pm flight arrival. We returned him to my father who had only a little bit more of the vodka and seemed to be doing OK.
Mom's sister was going to take Amtrak up here, but instead went to the emergency room with a fairly concerning symptom. We don't have news. Her husband had been in the hospital through Tuesday for surgery for a kidney stone, so that's not easy either. Mom would want me to take care of Judy: i ponder what to do. ... so i tracked down her details (about the same time my sister could relay the details from a family member in Florida) and i had a short chat. Sounds like nothing horrible is happening.
Later, nothing horrible but some concerning issues with my aunt.
Mid-day i was distressed i couldn't find my inhaler and purse. Had my sister check her car, and eventually checked my Dad's place. After my mid-day outing i found it, "Found the purse & within the inhaler. It was near where I have to shut the garage lights off. I found it because the garage lights were still on. ADHD distraction for the win."
Because i was going to look for the purse, i drove my mom's cousin to my dad's place. All was lovely until complained about the large campaign signs for sheriff (up since last winter for an election in the coming November). He mentioned their governor's campaign and their hero Ron DeSantis. "I don't know your opinion of DeSantis," he said. Really? You can't guess? I was polite as possible saying people in the state get to judge their governor. I have to say the witholding funding from schools that had masking covid policies was what first came to mind and not the Don't Say Gay bill, but i DO have STRONG opinions about that man. That put me in a funk, too.
When i got home i got a text from my manager, checking in. I shared my news; he inquired if he should cancel the 14 June summit in Ohio. Oh, so, we do have a plan to meet in Ohio. So there's that. I said no: i think i'll be doing OK, and my brother is here with my dad. Later, my Dad will be alone (and i wonder when the rhinoplasty will be).
I spent over an hour looking at bulbs.
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