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gas can
I could not find the telephoto lens' solar filter last night. Looking for it triggered all sorts of critical thoughts, some at the household for are shared disorganization, some at myself for what is in my control. I think i have mostly corralled all the camera equipment in one box now, so that's a step forward. I did find a mount and little tripod i could take for the cell phone camera. (And since i can use my watch as a remote trigger, that will actually be helpful.)
Christine asked if not finding something was ADHD, and i restrained myself from pointing out how she didn't know where all the kit for the GoPro was, but just observed that we both have a lot of kit and we haven't found places for everything to go. This is where i think both our families of origin didn't help us. My Mom had a magazine level standard for how things should appear but her own ADHD meant there was also chaos . And since she and dad had so much friction, he didn't have spaces where he could model order. Christine's family was more happy with clutter, and Christine is very much a magpie, with so much kit and the many stacks of books.
Months ago i had said to myself taking the SLR would be low priority, so while it resembled an ADHD last minute panic, it wasn't. It was an opportunity to look for all the bits of camera kit and try and get them in one place: more of the ADHD hyperfocus. And the fact i can't find the filters and can't clearly remember my intentions around camera filters is frustrating me no end. Did the solar filter get ruined in an unfortunate cat incident that i have wrapped in layers of self shame and disgust? Or are there filters stashed somewhere safe, and i'll find them in five years when i finally have space for all my kit? I can't imagine WHERE i would find them, but SIGH.
This week was very draining at work, but i did go for two work walks and one walk with Christine and Carrie. By the end of the week i also was using the standing desk. I hope i can pull myself out of the sourness i've had. I do wonder if there was a bounce to euphoria when my coughing stopped and then March was a dip when breathing wasn't a panacea for everything. the gas can