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Tedious morning writing about habit changing.
In the good news department, Christine is playing Night Czar in the household, helping manage and nag and encourage me to *do* instead of flump on the couch and let the day drain away. I know part of what happens is that the pressure (impulse, motive) drops from what work produces, and and all i have left is a little bit for crochet or wandering around on the internet. I'm asking her for coaching help, and it's working. We also proposed a concrete morning pattern for the kettle time, which should help with a little bit of housework.
I suppose this is part of re-Mothering myself. The patterns of housework and habit that one ideally learns as a child didn't take with me for a variety of reasons. Some of the antipatterns i learned i see also in my sister: a sense of overwhelming stress that certain duties must be done and must be done perfectly in order to have the most attractive appearance to visitors, to the extent that personal well-being and family well-being take a distant second in priority. That antipattern keeps the "keep everything you might need" antipattern at bay, to some extent, without dealing with the root of it.
The "appearances before psychological and physical well-being" antipattern i've pretty much rejected, with some residual irrational focus on the rug of the apartment. I am now tabula rasa and need to replace the antipattern with good patterns. It takes time with a kid: presumably i'll be a quicker study, except i'm barely attending to it. The "cruft and clutter" antipattern is one i've been aware of -- slow slow progress. But i think it is progress.
Microscopic progress on changing my slide into complete sedentary lifestyle as well.
I'd forgotten my plan to do an exclusion diet, but a colleague asked after whether i was pursuing any alternative therapies for my obviously less than stellar physical health. He may know a nutritionist who might be good to work with. I take that as a gift to remind me of my desire to tackle a elimination or exclusion diet.
In the good news department, Christine is playing Night Czar in the household, helping manage and nag and encourage me to *do* instead of flump on the couch and let the day drain away. I know part of what happens is that the pressure (impulse, motive) drops from what work produces, and and all i have left is a little bit for crochet or wandering around on the internet. I'm asking her for coaching help, and it's working. We also proposed a concrete morning pattern for the kettle time, which should help with a little bit of housework.
I suppose this is part of re-Mothering myself. The patterns of housework and habit that one ideally learns as a child didn't take with me for a variety of reasons. Some of the antipatterns i learned i see also in my sister: a sense of overwhelming stress that certain duties must be done and must be done perfectly in order to have the most attractive appearance to visitors, to the extent that personal well-being and family well-being take a distant second in priority. That antipattern keeps the "keep everything you might need" antipattern at bay, to some extent, without dealing with the root of it.
The "appearances before psychological and physical well-being" antipattern i've pretty much rejected, with some residual irrational focus on the rug of the apartment. I am now tabula rasa and need to replace the antipattern with good patterns. It takes time with a kid: presumably i'll be a quicker study, except i'm barely attending to it. The "cruft and clutter" antipattern is one i've been aware of -- slow slow progress. But i think it is progress.
Microscopic progress on changing my slide into complete sedentary lifestyle as well.
I'd forgotten my plan to do an exclusion diet, but a colleague asked after whether i was pursuing any alternative therapies for my obviously less than stellar physical health. He may know a nutritionist who might be good to work with. I take that as a gift to remind me of my desire to tackle a elimination or exclusion diet.