(adhd, health, observe, f&f, eventuality)

[elainegrey]

Had a lovely lunch with Dad and my sister L to remember Grandmámá on Wednesday. A year ago she was the life of her 105th birthday party. Then she was tired and never really got out of bed again. She did flirt with the "ambulette" driver who drove her and my sister from Florida to North Carolina. Over Grandmámá's birthday last year, my sister and i were both providing Mom's care.

Much change.

Had a couple good getting things done days.

Saturday i was not well. Allergic reaction maybe, but to what? (Friday night my lower lip began to swell.... why?) I hate to think waking early to go see if we could see the green comet was a cause. The Bojangles French fries and biscuits we picked up on the way home were probably a bad idea. It was a gorgeous day outside, and i stayed in. I did switch many things over from the cancelled debit card to the new one.

Sunday i was pretty good, but very grey. Idid do yoga with my sister for the last of our four yoga 101 classes. L wants to keep going together. I waffled. Then i had a stern talking to myself about priorities and spending time with L is high on that list. Therefore yes to more yoga.

C and i talked a little about wills. Really ought to handle that sooner. I'm not sure what the state would do if both C and I died in a wreck. And i think C and i are really leaning towards giving the house to my sister, and not doing something "fair" like splitting it between our siblings. Part of the instinct is that my sister might keep the house for her kids.

I've had hyperfocus at work which was a bit of a pleasure but also makes not-focus things harder.

Tuesday there was a case of calling out a person in a particularly callus and careless way on a mailing list community that distressed me. I wrote to the called out person to offer what comfort i could. The moderator came down hard on the behavior Wednesday morning. I remained a little preoccupied with it and my distress. The person who "piled on" apologized, the person who attacked someone's motives has gone silent. The called out person replied and shared how they had just stepped away from the drama. I wish i could emotionally distance myself like that. The ADHD rejection hypersensitivity is probably in play.

Time passes so quickly.

Comments

[tamena]

we need to do wills here too - I'm not looking forward to it.

[elainegrey]

Was just doing research:

The Balance. “Best Online Will Makers of 2023.” Accessed February 2, 2023. https://www.thebalancemoney.com/best-online-will-makers-4580500 .

So i tried out this one with the bare minimum

“Free Living Will Forms (Word | PDF).” Accessed February 2, 2023. https://www.doyourownwill.com/free-living-wills.html .

It read pretty much like the one my dad had drawn up by the lawyer at the base. My impression is that if you can trust your executor(s) doing an very simple will will little details and then attaching a letter is really easy. It lets you change the letter over time. This is what my Dad's mom did for her will. Everything was left to Dad, but then Dad had a letter about gifts to give to others. It also allows an incremental improvement between letting the state handle everything and doing the whole thing.

What i'll be chatting with Christine about is getting a barebones document for each of us witnessed and notarized, and then working on writing up notes. Someday we may have enough complexity that actually running it by a human lawyer would be worth while.

[tamena]

thank you for this - I'll look into it more this weekend =)

[ofearthandstars]

Wills are something I put on my Big List of Goals for the year - those and medical directives. It's not even that I don't want to think about the nuances of doing them, but it just feels like I'm bound to screw something up. Thanks for sharing your links above! (My parents had their wills and medical advances drawn up while my dad was in the national guard, so it was handled by a on-base attorney, I suppose - they selected my for their executor, but I can't say that I ever really felt like I knew what I was doing when the time came.

I think, too, there's an element of grieving over my own parents that still overshadows the process of making one of my own. But, it does need to be done.

[amaebi]

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself but sorry that anyone is stern with you.

OMG we have needed to do wills forever.