Retrospective (f&f, adhd, health)

[elainegrey]

Saturday Midsummer gathering at my sister's, Sunday a "Father's day observed" event at my Dad's place. (As we sat out, grill hot, surrounded by daylilies, i grilled daylily buds as a little entertainment. My brother in law first suggested they set of a wild food channel for me on some social media, and then decided that i was on his family's Zombie Apocalypse team and no publicity of my mad skilz with eating lawn clippings.

Monday, took off work in order to visit with my brother, his kids D & S, and my other nibling W: lunch out and bowling. W & I carpooled, and i let W drive me: it was nice to have the extra time to chat.

Tuesday, had message from D at the beginning of the day that he had fallen, and thought my brother's family had already left - dashed around to get stuff together for hospital waiting and have C join me (assuming i might need help moving Dad. Turned out brother's family was on site, and sister L also went to hospital. It was pretty clear -- even from the text message -- that Dad was not in dire straits, but the day was full of x-rays and scans and dribs and drabs of news from sibs.

Wednesday was optometrist visit first thing, which pretty much put me off early -- i forgot my daily dose of Welbutrin, prescribed for depression but i suspect has always been my ADHD med. The optometrist front desk person wanted my insurance card, not vision, but health -- and i said No. I'll take the gamble that any health concern we find will not leave me incapacitated and unable to fish my insurance card out of my wallet at the time. The optometrist tutted at my Zenni progressive lenses, but understood "pandemic". It took me a bit to recollect my eye care history: i saw the optometrist in town in June 2020 which i boggle at in retrospect. I do remember the protocols at the front desk and the how the person going through all the eye test machines took off her mask. That's why i never went back. So 2021 i ordered new glasses through Zenni because the ones from that office did not fit and hurt. (And i would not have had an insurance budget for frames.) 2022 Mom died, so i did not have spoons to deal with new optometrist. And here we are in 2023.

The optician was great, i underscored my main concern was fit, she brought frames to me and in the back of my mind high quality frames that i can use for a long time was in mind. So for my progressive lenses i have splurged on frames that are quite lovely. The computer glasses are a style i like but not nearly as dear.

In the end that was three hours out of the workday time i have for focusing.

Yesterday i felt completely overwhelmed, executive function meltdown, waves of self denigration at all the marbles i had dropped on the floor all week. Surprise performance review -- i'd misunderstood my previous manager's comments and thought he had already moved on, so expected the exec director to be stuck with me. I was happy to get a review from someone with a clue, but given my mental space was oh so not ready. It was fine.

Christine mowed early, had heat triggered migraine all afternoon, seemed i OK spirits when i returned home. Many migraines earlier in the week as well. I know she's in conversation with her doctor who is ready to help go to next stage of diagnosis.

I joined my siblings and their families -- less Z who has a summer job in Tampa Bay guiding kids on kayak tours of the bay edge -- at a movie last night. We saw Wes Anderson's "Asteroid City", which delighted me (although i keep thinking "Crater City"). I suspect there are some earlier Wes Anderson films i should watch, although i wonder if at home i wander off too much to watch them.

Dad is OK with a hairline fracture in a shoulder and arm confined to a sling for the month (although he can use as he feels capable). My brother's family departs today. I should find a time to visit him this long weekend. On the other hand, his sweetie is going to go take care of him, he reports, so i'm not quite ready to hang out with the both of them.

Comments

[amaebi]

I wildly applaud your functioning and your endurance. Two great things that go great together.

Re: computer specs: At my last optician visit I got a pair for the first time. I don't really notice them functioning that differently from the regulars. Should I? How? Am I doing something wrong? Or is there a theory that they are constructed to produce less eye fatigue, and could the fact that I notice no difference is because I am not prone to eye fatigue? (I.e., did I invent Magic Specs and then experience dismay at RL specs not fulfilling my imagination?)

[elainegrey]

I got my first pair of computer specs in my 20s. My prescription kept changing and i had headaches. The theory was that my eyes were being corrected for 20 ft distance, and i would then spend the whole day looking at something two foot away. I don't recall really noticing then a big difference: just the stabilizing of the prescription and fewer headaches.

I can drive in my computer glasses but i know i can't see signs as clearly, etc, etc. (Probably SHOULDN'T drive like that. Anyhow.)

I do notice now the little bit of ease that comes with putting on my computer glasses when i sit down to the system at the desk, where the screen is at eye height and arm's distance away. When i use my laptop, low in my lap, my progressive lenses are just fine.

I know there's all sorts of blue light shielding stuff out there which could be part of a special pair of glasses for computer use; i decline those coatings. (I do use the circadian rhythm settings that create a sort of "sunset" effect for the color settings in the evening.)

[amaebi]

Ah, that shorter focus was what I was banking on. But with either pair of specs, I keep needing to tilt the specs just the same way. (I have progressive lenses.)