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Tuesday, December 17th, 2024 07:35 am

https://interactive-lightning-map.vaisala.com/

Shows the average lightning events per square km per year, world wide. Interesting to see the variation - -and how little lightning is in Scandinavia. (Thinking about Thor....)

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Monday, July 8th, 2024 07:36 am

Lessee: 4th of July: sat and poked at the internet. Not sure i can remember.... Probably some poking at Dad's email issue, then Dad called to wave off plans for the 5th to help him regain access to his email so he could assist his sweetie. Which was fine, as i had wanted to work then.

5th of July work went OK.

I did have a small panic over passkeys and FIDO keys and confusion about accessing my Google account. Apparently, i have a Google passkey on my personal Mac. I no longer have a second Apple product (as we are no longer allowed to use our own Apple account on our work machines) so i have two FIDO keys to act as second factor. Google asks me for my passkey as a second factor now, but i confused the passkey with the FIDO key and had a small panic when it wasn't on there. Once i figured out my confusion i tried getting a passkey on the FIDO key but Did Not Go. I assume i might have been able to make it work using Chrome, but what's the point in that. It also seems that my usual authenticator is no longer trusted by google, but i can root around in my phone's settings to find an authenticator there. Geeze Louise. I am very tempted to urge my Dad to get an account at one of my domains (or buy one for him) so i can ensure i know what is going on with his email account.

Saturday Christine went off to see her sisters, riding with D--'s from Carrboro to A-'s in Mount Airy.  A is apparently showing some cognitive decline. I keep urging C to participate in some cognitive baseline test to help ease anxiety about the onset of Alzheimer's. Because i am so scatterbrained ... er, because ADHD, i've been taking a couple tests. Christine is indignant that one (https://www.aptwebstudy.org/) does not give an absolute score. It reports relative to your initial score. Apparently variations of ±10 points are common: i haven't varied by more than one over. This test https://afamemorytest.com/alzheimers-foundation-of-americas-memory-screening-test/ gives you a score but you have to keep track of the score and remembering to do the test.

So, when i get confused about passkeys i can't blame getting older. The security and identity management technologists get the blame.

Anyhow: i succeeded in getting some things done Saturday: i dehydrated a batch of mulberries and blended/fermented/baked the buckwheat bread for the next two weeks.  Mostly i sat watching youtube videos about Lechuguilla Cave and and about extremophile microorganisms, kicked off by reading the NY Times story:

Jabr, Ferris. “The Mysterious, Deep-Dwelling Microbes That Sculpt Our Planet.” /The New York Times/, June 24, 2024, sec. Magazine. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/24/magazine/earth-geomicrobiology-microbes.html.

Sunday morning we celebrated Christine's sister D--'s birthday by visiting with bunny rabbits at https://www.breadboxfarm.com/ . The young rabbits were quite adorable and D's step daughter volunteers there (i guess a step niece?)  so she was a well informed hostess. I asked the owner about colors, and discovered she's someone who had done color breeding for genetics research in school and was delighted to talk about the colors she was trying to breed.

I spent much of the rest of the Oh So VERY wet and muggy  day -- and yay for rain, i hope the rest of the state got some -- making plans for a solitary road trip in a month. We'll see if i really go: a Friday evening in New Bern that happens to be the "Art Walk" night, an early morning at the coast to see the sun rise over the Atlantic  (have not been to the Atlantic in a remarkably long time) and then a slow drive back stopping in Kinston and Selma to see different things. Blue highway tourism. Kinston was heavily damaged by Hurricane Floyd and there's a maze of overgrown roads where people were bought out of the flood plain by FEMA. At the edge of this area is a park that celebrates African American Music. And then in Selma there seems to be a thriving antique/thrift section of the little town, although the most interesting place is on the outskirts in an old cotton mill. Just poking at the internet and visiting virtually was very nice, but i think it would be good for me to do the road trip.

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Friday, January 5th, 2024 07:18 am

Scattered thoughts:

When i went out to open the door for the cats Thursday morning the sky was bright with stars and the waning moon hid in the trees. I saw a satellite moving against the night sky and caught a bright flash of a meteor.  This Friday morning the sky was even more clear. Venus, which had been muted by clouds on Thursday, blazed through the trees, and the even smaller moon blazed. I sat down and reloaded the table of satellite passes and noted a strikingly bright International Space Station was passing overhead just then. Back outside i went and watched the -3.6 m approach the moon, so bright it was rarely blocked by the pine tops. It did not pass in front of the moon from my point of view. Back inside where i noted that now a 2.7 m was passing through the big dipper, so outside i went again. I decided to stop even though more were passing overhead and instead was distracted by the information about the satellite. I did not know there was a Mid-Atlantic Regional Spaceport.

The wildlife cam is not too time consuming yet for record keeping. It's such a struggle to motivate myself to delete original images! I still have negatives of my photos from college, grad school, and the early oughts: i'm keeping those. My point is that the lesson to preserve the earliest, best quality image for the future is so ingrained. But who wants to peer at (so far) fairly poor wildlife camera images of deer, a squirrel,  a lens flare,  and a rabbit? I've learned how to do a little editing and compositing on my phone now, so SIGH, yes, if i had kept the possum photos i could have cropped and composed something to preserve as "evidence" but, again, is that single observation really that remarkable?  So, i am making myself delete. It's clutter and future me will appreciate the organization of the observations into a database as well as not having  a gigabyte of boring images and video to go through.

It has been interesting to discuss with Christine what images she will find remarkable. So far deer and squirrels are in the uninteresting category. This weekend i will put up the other camera and move this one to have more a view of the ground since the opossum (interesting!) and rabbit (interesting!) have mainly been in the bottom edge of the image.

I'm testing an embed of the most curious video -- a lens flare? -- below the cut.

I'm framing this coming year -- by which i mean my natal year more than 2024, but i'll try ramping up in the next two months -- as a move from surviving to thriving. My way of addressing challenges has been to put other things aside and focus on the challenge. The first few years we were here we worked madly on clearing the underbrush and overgrowth. Then Mom's stroke and COVID. And subsequently some big things at work. My "surviving" has been with comfortable margins: i don't need to be in survive mode. It's learned. I need to learn to thrive.  I'm trying to frame my expectations and think about this like a myself a transplanted perennial that persists with little change for a few years and then bursts forth growth in the apocryphally third year ("sleep, creep, leap"). I want to transplant my mindset to thrive-mode.

The first change i am making is in my centering meditation that i have been using since the mid 90s. The first focus is on grace, which had been so important because of how disappointed i would be in myself. I have not completely stopped "beating myself up" but i am far far more compassionate and understanding . When i am disappointed with objective fact (for example, still coughing, although its much better, and the work of December still has not wrapped up despite some good long focus days in December) i am not making it my fault.  I've learned to accept grace and give myself and others grace. I am overlaying that focus with a focus on vitality.

This page - https://positivepsychology.com/what-are-your-strengths/ - has a "wheel of character strengths" that has six major classifications. It includes "Courage" at that top level, with Bravery, Perseverance, Honesty, and Zest as individual strengths. I took the https://www.viacharacter.org/ survey to "find my strengths" and   my "top" five strengths as defined fell into "transcendence" (two strengths, but the strongest)  and "wisdom" (three strengths). "Honesty" from the "courage" section shows up as #6, but "Bravery", "Zest", and "Perseverance" are at the bottom. The "Perseverance" strength is entangled with ADHD. I suspect the survey instrument likely does not address neurodivergent perseverance. (The cowboy song of "Purt Near Perkins" comes to mind this moment, as a  change of heart about completion of things - https://www.jeffstreebyauthorizedsite.com/6-classic-works.html .) ZEST though, that's what i want to chase. And maybe it takes bravery to chase it. I think hangups around perseverance may, indeed, be part of the issue. "I can't do zesty thing because must finish thing" -- but so often the finishing of a thing is ... unreasonable? It's too big a thing? I dunno.  Anyhow: exploration there.

In oops news: I associate elements with my age to label each year. This coming birthday i will be 56, which is barium. Barium is in a gem stone called benitoite, and i've considered getting a necklace that has a vial of some sort that has tiny tumbled benitoite stones inside. (Larger stones are pricey!)  But Sunday afternoon my mind skipped and i decided the element must be bismuth and -- lo! -- there are pretty things made with crystallized bismuth. So i bought a necklace and earrings and -- nope, different than barium. 27 years until bismuth.

Random: What the bleep is "magic spoon" cereal that the "deep discount price" is $6.97 for a 9.7 oz box??? Ah "keto friendly" "sweet" cereal. Wow.

 Read more... )

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Wednesday, December 20th, 2023 07:16 am

Christine's daily haiku/imagery/composition for Dec 19 has a bit of the season to it: https://17sounds.substack.com/p/the-ends-of-the-world A bit of bells in the soundtrack?

Last night, the first quarter moon sparkled through the trees to the south west. Today is the last cloudless day in the forecast -- tonight i will try and give the moon a bit more time since its likely the waxing moon will be behind clouds for the rest of the week. Cassiopea high during my evening moments under the night sky, the big dipper during the early morning moments.

--== ∞ ==--

The AbleTo Resilience program has an exercise of journaling several times a week "To express and narrate your experience, your fears and hopes for the future, and your values." There are some prompts, one of which is,  "The main internal strengths I have are... The main external strengths I have are..."

I am not really sure what internal and external strengths are? Searching a bit turns up SWOT (Strength - Weakness - Opportunity -Threat) analysis, which i don't think is the point?    Unless i interpret "external strength" as an opportunity?  Finally,  the article cited below describes the researchers classifying the "strengths" narrated by the people with chronic illness as external when it wasn't intrinsic or learned, such as being financially well off.

Kristjansdottir, Olöf Birna, Una Stenberg, Jelena Mirkovic, Tonje Krogseth, Tone Marte Ljoså, Kurt C. Stange, and Cornelia M. Ruland. “Personal Strengths Reported by People with Chronic Illness: A Qualitative Study.” /Health Expectations : An International Journal of Public Participation in Health Care and Health Policy/ 21, no. 4 (August 2018): 787–95. https://doi.org/10.1111/hex.12674.

I spent much time taking some "skills inventory" tests and reading about why focusing on strengths is apparently Good For You.

--== ∞ ==--

I am getting better, i think. Still coughing, still sinus drainage.  My physical activity has ground to a halt as i've saved energy for work. But last night i did (most of) the NY Times' Joy workout.  I hope that the next three workdays are not as crowded as the previous two, and that i can get in my quick walk down the hill.

Now that i've invested in resistance bands and tubes, i need to find ways to use them. I am happy that,having both found the bands uncomfortable for some moves and then found there was yet something else i could buy, i used toweling (of which i have a surplus) and "industrial" velcro to make my own padding.

--== ∞ ==--

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Monday, December 18th, 2023 07:27 am

I asked the universe for a time line game and now have two. The first i found is  https://wikitrivia.tomjwatson.com/  and i find that the NY Times has had one (and has learned from the viral behavior of wordle how to let people share results without spoiling the game for others):

Flashback for December 17, 2023 24 points 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟥 Play here: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2023/12/15/upshot/flashback.html

When i stepped outside this morning to open the deck door for the cats, the ISS (at apparent magnitude -3.4 m, which is very bright) was crossing the sky. Venus hangs very brightly in the east, and perhaps the bright star in the cherry tree's branches, high above the back porch, is a Arcturus. My recollection is that it was quiet, no frogs singing, despite it being fairly warm due to the storm that brought warm air and moisture up from Florida. It seems the storm left lots of rain, but the state has power this morning so any outages were few enough that they could be fixed quickly. There's flood warnings, but i hope the drought drained reservoirs will be able to hold back enough to keep the coastal river communities from floods.

I rested all weekend and hope i am better enough to take on the week. The cough is still productive, but i have at least restored my self for work. (And the 8:30 am meeting. Sigh.)

I hope that i can recover enough -- and Christine recover from a family induced distress -- that by Thursday night and our anniversary celebration we can be in a bit of a holiday mood.

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Saturday, December 16th, 2023 02:23 pm

Today's random research: looking at buoy sea images in the Gulf of Mexico led to gazing at bathymetry along the continental shelf, led to "What are those round lumpy things west of the mouth of De Soto Canyon?" led to depressing research results about coral destruction after the Deepwater Horizon blowout but also learning the location was referred to as "pinnacle trend" and finally to the explanation that they are ancient coral reefs from the last ice age (10kya) that have "drowned" below the levels where corals continue to form reefs. https://oceanexplorer.noaa.gov/explorations/islands01/background/islands/sup5_pinnacles.html

Today's culinary experience was grilled romaine. I had a small head that was going bitter with age, so that seemed like a good use. Cutting up enough stuff for a salad seemed daunting. But i did cut in half nine cherry tomatoes and sear those a little, too. It was good, and i appreciated the warmth. I probably should have used balsamic vinegar instead of the lemon juice, and i do have basil growing in the window -- i'll try to remember for next time.

Thursday night i threw together cans of coconut milk, pumpkin, and garbanzo beans to make a half-hearted curry. At lunch the next day Christine completed seasoning it -- i'd forgotten i'd bought fresh limes specifically to add.

I ended up taking Wednesday and most of Friday off work, just too exhausted. I tried working Friday but when i started crying i figured that was a sign that i should rest. This morning, tears, too. The stronger steroids took a while to get due to shortages: Friday afternoon i finally got the stronger steroid and montelukast.  I montelukast started AFTER a bout of tears -- important for me to note since there are some potential mental health side effects from it.  It also will take about two weeks to take effect, but hopefully that means 2024 might be better.

Wednesday i completed Jenny Schwartz's "The Adventures of a Xeno-Archaeologist" series. Yesterday was Melissa Scott's "The Roads of Heaven Trilogy."

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Sunday, December 10th, 2023 10:45 am

In my growing confidence that i am not the person who is causing the failure to communicate:

I sent a reminder for next week's retreat planning meeting  on Thursday morning (Dec 7, living in infamy), which began, "The next meeting dedicated to [retreat] planning will be Thursday, 14 Dec, 7pm Eastern, 4 pm Pacific on Zoom...." Thursday evening i was meeting with someone in the same zoom room for a different purpose when a third person showed up: "Don't we have a meeting this evening?" they asked.

I wonder if this is the beginning of everyone being in a long COVID haze?  I suppose, given the person,  there could also be an aging component to it.

--== ∞ ==--

I am trying to find a word or metaphor  that isn't depression to describe where i have been the past six months: enervated and frustrated because i was enervated, is accurate to some extent. I believe the management change and my coach change coming fast  after the  first surgery recovery milestone (back to work) were a seed. I believe my expectations for recovery were too high, and my disappointment at not meeting them was part of the malaise. And now this cough since the beginning of October.

Perhaps it's the walk to find a gas station, when the car ran out of gas, but one doesn't really know why the car ran out of gas.  So there, that's my metaphor, i'm on a journey with the gas can

I would like to feel in March, when my 56th year is complete, that (minimally) i am refueling. I think i am currently at the part of the journey where i recognize some of the reasons i ran out of gas, and some of the reasons  why i wasn't (magically) refueled. I feel like i might be trying to figure out how to get the gas in the tank, at this point -- maybe i'm still looking around for a source of fuel. I've made it past willing the tank full, feeling guilty the tank wasn't full,  fixing some of the causes of the tank failure. Some of that sounds very similar to stages of grief, which - yes - there was probably grief and anger about how people "left" me  and the surgery.

Looking ahead:

Resolving the immediate cough will probably take a combination of time and medical intervention. I'm seeing a doctor in person on Tuesday.*

Invigorating will take some amount of discipline/commitment as well as patience as well as compassion for the enervated state. Balancing those three is hard, because my experience is much advice focuses on the first.

  • One of the more frustrating cases of "abandonment" is my primary care doctor's inaccessibility. This latest issue has been, apparently, he's been without an assistant for a month and a half, and thus my messages have been unanswered -- i've been waiting to

     Read more... )

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Sunday, December 3rd, 2023 08:30 am
Google just asked if i trusted them with my privacy. Hahahahahahaha. No. I compartmentalize to the best i can: i accept that they know my location. I should probably get back in the habit of using other search engines.

Yesterday i had planned on a rainy day and just puttering with the to do list, including days and days of backlogged rain gauge audio notes that need to be recorded. Instead, i read a collection of cozy fantasy short stories, and met many characters whose journeys i'd like to follow:

... our friends in Cozy Vales. This new shared world cozy fantasy project debuted their inaugural anthology on the last day of November. Winter Tales from Cozy Vales [a free ebook: https://books2read.com/cozyvales-anthology-1 ], and features nine snuggly short stories perfect for the season of snow and cocoa.


Unfortunately, not enough rain to really do anything about the drought. Today remains grey, but i remembered to sit in front of the bright light. Fingers crossed it will make a difference in bestirring myself.
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Monday, October 23rd, 2023 07:28 pm
Pouting over the Diamondbacks leading the Phillies 5-1. Is it possible we will get a rally here in the bottom of the 7th?
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Sunday, October 22nd, 2023 07:15 pm
O for crying out loud you bock-bock-bock diamondbacks, you can't pitch to Harper and Schwarber?? You gonna walk'em in the first inning? Geeze.
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Sunday, August 13th, 2023 03:51 pm
The umpire needs glasses. And to pick bottom of the seventh, bases loaded, two outs, and the 3-2 pitch to screw up the call is ... special. Oh, Phillies, come on back!
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Friday, July 14th, 2023 07:34 am
I found myself talking about the movie Michael Clayton on Thursday with my dad and sibs. My opinion is summed up by this yard sign: https://shop.joemande.com/products/yard-sign . (Admittedly, since we are only 1/5th done with the century, the last line is questionable.) In doing some web searching about the significant scene with horses in it, i was startled to find this book,

Clayton Michael. 1992. Horses. New York NY: Smithmark.

Coincidence the movie with a significant scene involving horses has a title with the same name as the author of a coffee table book on horses? I wonder.
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Thursday, June 8th, 2023 06:49 am
I have been rolling my eyes at the Apple goggles generally, and then -- after reading about some sort of Zeiss lens eye correction that one will be able to add -- grumbling about accessibility. But then i thought, wait, shouldn't augmented reality be able to help correct vision? Here's a pre-Apple announcement article about just that. I ponder how much i would love telephoto to macro strength glasses that not only corrected my vision but could also zoom in on distant birds or enlarge detail. The device would have to have to work in a self contained mode -- no constant network connection needed -- to be interesting. Do not want to wait on external cloud processing to see.

--== ∞ ==--

Blackberries are coming in and i want to make something. This recipe -- https://dinnerthendessert.com/blackberry-crumb-bars/ -- looks rich but attractive. The crumb mixture is both the base and the topping, which is a very nice feature for minimal fuss cooking. I'd be happy to hear other solutions. I just barely have the two cups of blackberries at the moment.

--== ∞ ==--

Imitation crab was on sale and -- while the sale product was gone -- Christine and i both had meals we wanted to make with the stuff.

I had looked up what one can do with it and found a sushi bake casserole like recipe. Make sushi rice, spread on bottom of baking dish, sprinkle furikake, make a mix of the imitation crab and seasoning and mayo, spread, sprinkle furikake. The furikake available at the grocery store was just black and white sesame seed and nori, so i've ground up the nori i have had on hand for probably too long and bought "tuxedo" sesame seed to mix in. And i added onion powder. Wasn't quite up for adding chili flakes yet. Some sort of dried fish and or dried miso sounds like a standard ingredient; nothing like that on the grocery shelf. Once i dry the mushrooms that were on sale, i think that might be nice to add. (And i suppose i could dry some miso paste.) Maybe add powdered ginger? Never saw that mentioned.

Christine wanted to make sandwiches so while hers was an Old Bay seasoned, tomato and provolone sub, i had mine on Hawaiian rolls. I made a mayo mixture with hot sauce, tamari sauce, and sesame oil and used my furikake base mix. Not bad!

--== ∞ ==--

Just read a blog post about using miso powder because salt is bad for you. I laughed and laughed. (Random internet resource says miso is about 3% salt, so sure, a 1:1 replacement is going to be a reduction, but the images did not look like a 1:1 reduction. It reminds me of an add touting cream cheese as lower in fat than butter, but never have i seen butter spread as thickly as people spread cream cheese.)
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Saturday, April 29th, 2023 11:58 am
Thursday, the nurse wrote, after i left a message in the chart software:
I just checked and it looks like a decision will be made tomorrow.

I am out of the office tomorrow but I will have the person who is working on your case (R--) send you a My Chart message when [they find] out.

Thanks,
A---

Friday morning i wrote, It will be a relief to know. I am glad that the prep for me before the surgery is minimal: discontinue one supplement, no analgesics. No big diet change.

I found out at around 11:45. I was in a bit of a spin and a bit emotional. The original denial came about two weeks before the original surgery scheduled date, that the insurance stuff far outweighed any anticipation of the actual surgery. Now it's less than a week away. Colleagues said, "Congratulations," which felt weird.

Other things were going on with work that heightened my emotions (experty visibility). Muchness. Christine has a Family Thing today that has her emotions all heightened, too. I think part of the feeling is a very low grade fear of a totally novel experience. Does it map to the same sort of experience as a colonoscopy or removal of wisdom teeth? Which were a blip of disruption. Am i being silly allowing two weeks for recovery? I guess i do have the experience of pneumonia, which didn't hospitalize me, but did take over a month for recovery. Anyhow. I continue to poke the future with sticks but will have to wait for it to transform to the present and past before i will know anything.

Meanwhile, on a conference website, labeled "Networking," this image:

Three men (two very white) in similar color suit jackets seated at a table with a woman of color in the edge of the image, standing, in a different hued jacket.

I added the bars across the eyes (who knows if that's enough for facial recognition avoidance). Two other photos were in the series, "The Exhibition," which featured a single woman, and "The Conference," which had a crowd of people in chairs applauding with a woman center (a few others in the crowd of men). This photo -- well, i assume the conference is trying to be welcoming and show diversity, but this just resonates with the awkwardness i feel when facing all the tables at networking time at conferences and heightens it with all the suit jackets being all that navy-grey tone, and the woman standing wearing something else. Of course with me it was a bright tangerine orange. My copresenter commented that it was easy to find me in the crowd.
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Wednesday, January 25th, 2023 05:16 pm
What does this sentence mean?


Despite the fact that this has been done previously, a team lead by Lotte Mertens from the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands has created something brand-new.


This -- https://blog.physics-astronomy.com/2022/11/scientists-created-black-hole-in-lab.html -- whole article makes me want to scream.

Maybe it's pointing to this "breaking news" from Dec 2.

https://thedebrief.org/black-hole-simulated-in-the-lab-suddenly-starts-glowing-potentially-pointing-to-a-unified-theory-of-gravity/

ugh
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Friday, October 28th, 2022 07:21 am
We have a contract for solar installation that says "late March". The project manager started writing to us about a late December install. I wrote back that we were expecting installation in "late March." And they wrote back a bunch of "but our project schedule." AITA for writing our sales contact "What is going on? I feel like i am being treated like a project and not a customer"? I talked to our sales contact, and they noted the person was new, so hopefully the project manager received some gentle coaching on customer communications. I now have a message from the project manager, "Please note that there will be no movement on your project until January 2023 to allow our design team & project management to move forward with installs; to be completed by 2022." Which, as the sales guy points out, is better for them (as many customers, i'm sure, want to get the 30% tax rebate next year). I replied with my thanks. I feel frustration coming through the project manager's messages, they seem to want to understand. But hey, no, i don't need to explain.

Excited about:

Finding beech nuts on the massive beech trees at Town Lake Park. Should i eat them or plant them? Glorious huge trees.

My vinegar has a mother! Last weekend i siphoned the liquid out from between the sediment at the bottom and "Kahm yeast," a less than desirable layer of yeast that grows on the surface. I was hoping such an exercise might mean i'd avoid the growth again. Then i saw a little something at the place where the fig-vinegar-to-be meets the air and the jar: more yeast growth? Sigh. Later i held it up to the light, and it looked different. Unlike the yeast which forms a film on top and cracks and tears with a slight slosh, this undulated. This is pure figs and water and environmental microbiotic critters, oh right, and purchased yeast. The first batch i had been more ad hoc with me jumbling a variety of advice into the mix. It's in the fridge as i was tired of fighting kahm yeast. I've used it with tahini for a sauce for roasted brussels sprouts and to "deglaze" a pan after making a tofu rice scramble. It's OK there. I begin to ponder accumulating a jar of fruit bits in a mush in the fridge to ferment and make more home made vinegar.

Less excited about wire worm damage in the first sweet potatoes i have harvested. I really need to get beneficial nematodes and whatever that stuff is that fights Japanese beetle into the soil. Along with a ton of amendments. Bah.
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Tuesday, September 13th, 2022 08:19 pm
A little cranky.

- Wah, the days are shoooorter.
- I'm not getting my steps in.
- I'm not going out for a walk during work.
- I have kahm yeast (not noxious, but not desired) growing on top of my attempt to make fig vinegar.
- I'm a little worried about the trip to Ohio and work responsibilities.
- I feel really behind with work, but i can't really point to a rational reason - -just so many things i should be thinking about. And i am distracted by other things. And then i am supposed to be doing work out of my comfort zone. Wahhhhh.
- My quiche is taking too long and dinner is late.

Things that perk me up a little

- Ooh, one can attempt tomato vinegar as well.
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Wednesday, August 24th, 2022 04:44 pm
Phase one: My niece is wearing super glam eyeliner these days and i have vague memories of enjoying wearing makeup once upon a time.

Phase two: "window" shopping. Ooh, pretty mineral powders appropriate for skin use: https://lotioncrafter.com/search?page=1&q=mica%2A&type=product Oh, plastic free makeup vendors https://www.etsy.com/shop/CleanFacedCosmetics

So, i can probably play with makeup and avoid all the packaging.

Phase three: before spending money, fiddle with what i have. So, i have some theoretically beneficial "eye serum" which i think is translucent spackle for wrinkles. I bought the current eye serum i'm using in a weak moment when i read some convincing articles about the effectiveness of modern eye stuff and thought that well, yes, i can lose money, but a little bit of care about my appearance isn't .... a betrayal of all i hold dear: https://www.thebodyshop.com/en-us/face/eye-care/oils-of-life-eye-cream-gel/p/p002013 I have that under my eyes, and i dust very pale powder (i dunno how old that compact of Physicians Formula Mineral powder is) over it. This makes a some difference in the deep sagging dark under eye circles. But by the end of the day, it seems the wrinkles are really really obvious.

Phase four: Ask the internet what to do with "deep set eyes." Internet proscribes a number of expensive solutions, in plastic, and also inexpensive Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Dark Circles Treatment Multi-Use Concealer, in plastic. Much raving about the Maybelline solution. Maybelline contains Haloxyl (https://www.ulprospector.com/en/na/PersonalCare/Detail/1240/420567/Haloxyl & https://dietsinreview.com/diet_column/09/haloxyl-review/ ). So theoretically more effective than merely pigment.

Phase five: OK, it might be fun to play with pretty eye shadows but as long as these navy shopping bags are dragging under my eyes, i don't see any point in drawing attention?

Current competing thoughts:

* Time taken to apply cuts into my morning schedule, so if this is a regular thing i either need to give up something or start earlier. Sigh. It's also spending money. And it's added more clutter to the counter. Why am i doing this?

* Stick to plastic free. Buy powders, so what if there are wrinkles. No one really is looking at your face anyhow.

* OK, the under eye thing is a special condition. Get a good product meant to deal with it. It will be faster and more satisfying. Then stick with plastic free vendors for pigmented fun mascara and eyeshadows and maybe someday i'll bother with lipstick again but meh.


There's still plenty of powder and serum to go through so i don't know which competing thought might win.
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elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Thursday, June 16th, 2022 06:34 am
Does anyone have any Maine, USA contacts who could connect a 20+ year old queer person with PTSD with resources to move out of their current situation into an apartment in walkable area of Maine? I'm sure public transit would be a win.


MONDAY:

I'm physically in my hotel room across from [my employer's HQ] trying to pull myself together after spending yesterday afternoon and evening driving here. My self feels like it has been smeared across the whole route and i'm not all here yet.

It's just 9 am and i finally feel... readyish.

At home humidity will add 8° to make it "feel like" 101°F. Here in the hotel room in Ohio it didn't seem hot, but -- bleh -- it was very humid last night in the hotel room -- presumably because the air conditioner had not had to do any work for a while? here the humidity will add 6° for feels like 94°F.

TUESDAY:
Still humid in the hotel room. Blargh. And it's a 14°F addition to the temperature due to humidity today here. Yikes. No hike for me. Maybe i'll walk in the hotel gym to an audiobook.

I see email from the New York Times, "You now have access to The Athletic." THE ATLANTIC, great! Reads email: "a subscription sports publication that covers your favorite teams and leagues with the rigor you expect from our reporting" Oh. Now i am disappointed. The atH-l-E-tic
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elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Saturday, March 19th, 2022 06:26 am
I'm back, i'm alive, i am still catching up with my physical life. Email brings this spam message this morning:


Subject: Attention Scam Victims
Date: Fri, 18 Mar 2022 21:08:56 -0700
From: United Nations Secretary General. <>
Reply-To: ubacustomerservicecenter101@gmail.com


United Nations Headquarters, New York City: See 1292
Address: 405 E 42nd St, 1st Avenue,
New York City, NY 10017-3507
United Nations Secretary General.

Attention Scam Victims!!!

This is to bring to your notice that the United Nations and the US Department of Treasury in collaboration with Asian Development Bank, has officially approved the sum of {US$2,500,000.00 USD} after the meeting held on the 18th January 2022 in United Nations Head Office New York City.
Note: This email only comes to those who are yet to receive their inheritance/winnings/compensation and who have been scammed in any part of the world, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or Compensation payments claim that failed due to Government problems etc. The UNITED NATIONS and the World Bank Group has agreed to compensate you with the Sum of Two Million Five Hundred Thousand United states Dollars Only {US$2,500,000.00USD} in order to restore the global economy to the enviable standard of respectability.
The 19 people were selected across the Globe for this New Year International Compensations payments Your email was in the list submitted by our Monitoring Team observers, so you are advised to contact the authorize paying BANK OF United Bank For Africa {UBA} with their contact address: (ubacustomerservicecenter101@gmail.com) for the immediate release of your Fund as a Compensation Approved fund.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr Antonio Guterres,
United Nations Secretary General.
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