elainegrey

My planning for my 43rd year (which began in March)

( probably posted in February )

It is interesting to contrast my "ten week" goal setting with its irregular blocks of time to SCRUM. One of the repeated pieces of advice is to keep the blocks of time consistent so the teams can develop a rhythm. My "ten week" year is broken into a rhythm that reflects the change of seasons and my summer high: 2 months, 2 months, 4 months, 2 months, 2 months. My time and my planning is wheel of the year sacred personal time compared to secular work time of scrum. It still supports the inspect and adapt function, though, and i think that's been part of the value.

May is here and it is a new start for me. I think the Spring season (which i start at my birthday, mid way between Candlemas and the spring equinox) was mainly focussed on Christine's surgery.

This season we're wrapping up that focus. I expect by the end of June we'll be transitioning into a new household rhythm where the new SCRUM rhythm at my office needs to mesh with Christine's new work rhythms. I think at the end of June we might be ready to begin thinking through a plan to "sell the Honda 900 and buy a very used Jeep." We'll want to get away to celebrate her successful recovery from the surgery.

I think i'm feeling the stress of developing new habits at the same time. The new SCRUM work habits reinforce and amplify the "Conditions of Enoughness." The Satisfaction Finder misses an explicit "inspect and adapt" loop, but the "conditions of enoughness" are a very similar practice of breaking things down into small conceivable chunks.

Adapting to new habits takes energy: getting exercise, changing diet, just as much as a discipline of recognizing a reasonable, possible set of things i could do in a realistic day and be satisfied with what i'd done.

I think this Beltane season needs to focus on Practice, Celebration, and Planning. Practice means instead of doing new things, i can just focus on the new way to enforce habits. Because i'm practicing with what i've got, and that seems Enough, i'm going to say "No" to out of the usual things. I won't go Quarterly or do Bike to Work day, and i won't ask myself to "Virtually Attend" the stack of events in my list of things to do. Practice means adding those events to next year's wheel of the year, though!

Clearly, a big part of my stress is that i'm changing, seeing change, and wanting to be changed. The little steps, i've made just wants me to have more done. For example, i bought little organization baskets/drawers for my desk. I am so delighted with my sense of improved workspace. It's magnificent! And that make me even more acutely aware of junk drawers and stacks of unprocessed letters and papers and so on. Yesterday during a call i cleaned up one of the supply drawers and my 3x5 card kit. There's a part of the urge that feels like procrastination, but i should allow myself this sense of "spring cleaning" that seems to be part of this sense of new process.

Well, the internet is not helping me understand my eye condition. I'm glad i started the course of antibiotics because the symptoms have escalated to clearly being worthy of intervention.

I hate lethargy.

Logging yesterday: i went to Meeting and was more taken by Muse than the Light, as Christine puts it, and thought more about dye projects. After, i hid on a bench behind the meetinghouse for a half hour and chatted with my parents as they drove to see Angels and Demons. This seems very odd because it means that over the past month or so they've been out to more movies than i have: they were never go out to movie people. I wonder if this is how my Dad is adapting now that he's home much more with his semi-retirement.

I was staying for the discussion of hiring a Youth Coordinator at yearly meeting. My instinct is to ignore the issue of paying for something until we come to unity on the need. I feel it's a disservice to those with greater resources to say, "I don't need this because i can't afford it." On the other hand, i realize that this year the Friends Committee on National Legislation has had to cut back dramatically, so many social non-profits are struggling.

I ought to go into the office and write some checks, including one to the organization at Penn which helped foster my spiritual explorations into paganism, feminist critique of Christianity, feminist Christologies and reclamation of wisdom, and liberation theology.

I left after participating in the discussion for an hour, getting a sense for the breadth of reaction in the meeting. I picked Christine up & we went for a late lunch (with lots leftover), and then we went to a thrift store, where i bought lots of white, mostly-cotton clothing to practice dyeing. Home, where i tried things on and she rested, then it was time for our live Lexulous appointment with Christine's sister. We had networking problems on both ends scratching games, but we finally plaid until completion. A short bike ride, MI-5 and a light meal, and the day was done.

This morning i did some web research for Christine regarding gender confirmation surgery. (Actually, it's re-research, since she'd come to conclusions but we reason differently.) I'm a bit blue because when regarding the local surgeons listed on a compilation website, all are retired or dead. It's a bit depressing not to see more opportunities. The surgeon who works in Colorado has an extensive site and refers to how politics of the 70's and 80's shut down university research centers and limited training in the field. The expense is also a little daunting. I'd really hoped to find a surgeon locally. There is a very highly regarded surgeon in LA, which would be a little easier travel than the Colorado surgeon. (We're thinking 2011: things may change, but we move slowly.)

I made deviled eggs for a potluck brunch and joined friends for an hour and a half. Home now, and feel exhausted.