elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Thursday, October 22nd, 2020 06:09 am
Daily journaler is seeking other daily journalers. I'm looking for other diarists that share some aspect of their daily life, whether it's limited to a narrow aspect of creativity or concern or is wide ranging. The diarist should be open to reading my entries and ideally is already reading the entries of folks in my circle.

ETA: Diarist should have high tolerance for typos.
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Sunday, January 25th, 2015 06:58 am
Oh my, a 100+ acre ranch with two homes for sale on Zillow under $600,000. Just a two hour commute! Tule elk and mountain lions. One route home would be over Mt Hamilton, which was, when we first moved out here, a white knuckle drive, but i think i've learned since then. My econobox car would never survive the commute. (We'd have to get a truck.)

Probably doesn't have high speed internet, so there's that.
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Saturday, January 24th, 2015 05:36 pm
I'm enjoying the book The Drunken Botanist and last night, on the ride home from the city, i was stuck in lousy traffic listening to a litany of lemon and bitter and licorice herbs, and magical names i just barely recognize like Campari and Strega and Pastis. I stopped at the grocery store and saw some names, but the bottles are big and i don't know if the purchase is going to be welcome or not. So, I promptly started research at home and now have a list of things that sound like they might be appealing and have really good ratings.

So. Now what?

I wonder if i can buy miniatures at a liquor store. I suppose i could find a bar that is well stocked for cocktails: maybe at a good restaurant?

Hmm. There's actually a 4.5 star Yelp rated (31 reviews) liquor store in easy walking distance. Near our comfy Mexican place. Hmm. Maybe not salmon tonight.

Vittone The Original Fernet Menta Amaro Liqueur 80 proof (40%) minty bitters
Liquore Strega 80 proof (40%) slightly sweet, semi-viscous, and has a bold, complex flavor with strong minty or coniferous notes
Cynar Artichoke liqueur (apertif & digestif) 33.0 proof
Benedictine 80 proof (40%)
Green Chartreuse (110 proof or 55%) It is very sweet, but becomes both spicy and pungent.
Campari 20-28% quintessential astringent
Aperol 11% cf Campari 20-28% orange, rhubarb, and other herbs.
Yellow Chartreuse (80 proof or 40%), which has a milder and sweeter flavour and aroma.
Fernet Branca minty bitters (78.0 proof)

Licorice/Sambuca/pastis/absinthe/Herbs de Majorca

Luxardo Sambuca dei Cesari (76.0 proof)
Romana Sambuca liqueur (84.0 proof)
Pernod Anis Liqueur 80 proof (40%)
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Saturday, January 24th, 2015 04:25 pm
Tuesday i drove into work and we had the iteration kick-off. Long meetings but good because i am not having to worry about deadlines and commitments.

Wednesday was a work-at-home day during which i had a mild migraine-like headache in the quality of the symptoms, although (thank heavens) not in the intensity. I worked throug it, and then in the evening my sinuses reacted as if i was having an allergic reaction to something over a ten minute period.

Thursday i had a commitment for the evening but didn't feel up to it. I ended up bailing. While i wasn't feeling great physically, i was feeling somewhat giddy with getting to do my new job. I'm not sure what the quality was that has changed, but i think i am letting go of the vigilance that has always been with me. My vacation week included more sleep than i recall, i'm sleeping more now. While there may be a low level cold driving it, i'm resting more soundly.

The fuzzy head was gone Friday morning, but there's still some congestion. I slept late (i think i slept late on Thursday morning too) and we had cleaners coming at 8:30. This is the second of three Groupon cleanings: two people for two hours. I'm using the extra elbow grease to beat back entropy, get past what we manage to get done irregularly. Christine decamped, and i started work on tidying the deck, including caring for the plants. The cleaners were 30 minutes late. I pointed them at cleaning the fridge and the shower curtain. The two hours passed incredibly quickly, but i was just about done on the deck when they were ready to go.

I then drove to the city to meet up with a friend from college. It was lovely, but unsettling in some odd way. I think a little of me felt like i was being seen with the ghostly double of my much younger self beside me. That young lady was desperate for friends and connection and i'm pretty sure i dramatized things for JA to Be Interesting. I took her and her son to Fort Point where we met up with a friend of hers who lives in Oakland. None of them had been to Fort Point, a pre-Civil War fort built right at the Golden Gate: the bridge was built over it years later. It is not tourist-packed, it has incredible views, waves break right there. We saw surfers in the late afternoon, a seal or two, a flock of pelicans presumably celebrating the herring run. A little ways away is the Warming Hut with a coffee bar and national park gift shop. We participated in a cannon demonstration -- i think i was almost sworn into the Union Army, problematic in a couple ways -- and climbed the three stories of spiraling stairs twice. They were all delighted with the location.

I left to drive home watching sunset and fog play with the light along ocean beach, the grey-green surf getting in a good game with the light, too. I bought some fast food, intending to go to my evening event, but decided to bail.

It's still winter. I'm not pushing myself.

Last night and today i've been a bit of a lump. I posted some stuff on freecycle and i'm wondering where the time has gone. There's something at Meeting tonight, and i think i'm going to skip the potluck half.


It's a little different but i'm giving it a go.
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Monday, January 19th, 2015 06:38 am
My first week of launching the day had two scales of change to it: one was a more intentional way of spending time at the computer (an hour or more), the other was a bit more order and completeness to physically preparing myself (ten minutes or so). The shorter scale is going fairly well, in part because once i go to do one thing, the whole sequence is triggered. The longer reading and writing and planning time is not going as well. First, there's variation. I slept longer some mornings and there was one morning where Christine and i had to get the car to the shop earlier than my usual up-and-out. Second, it's hard not to do the email clean up of the many overnight emails of dubious value. There a sense of vanquishing the beast that comes with the clean up, but then i'm left with the real emails to digest.

I still feel the longer scale habit is a good intention, down to the ignoring the email. I think the shorter scale preparations for ending and beginning the day will become habits before i get a more solid habit with the mental preparations.


I wish i had had the foresight to take today off instead of last Monday. It's both Christine's birthday and there are MLK observances. With work, just Christine's birthday fits.

On the other hand, last Monday i wasn't feeling well, so all's worked out.
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Tuesday, January 13th, 2015 08:48 pm
I enjoyed the day at the calflora application workshop, and Christine almost enjoyed it, too. She has been a hermit for the past year-plus, though, and i think being with people all day drained her.

Towards the end of the day i was caught in a draft, and now i find myself coughing often. It's the asthmatic cough, and i dread the long draining recovery.

Mr M has some odd matted bits of fur. I have tried my usual practices of pulling mats in half along the grain of the fur, but the pulling seems to have distressed him. I have now snipped out the mats. I remember Grey Beard's last months and how the fur from the shaved area around an abscess (due to the newly arrived Greycie Loo, i'm sure) never grew back. Mr M is such a feisty older cat; i so want him to remain dapper, too.
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Tuesday, January 13th, 2015 06:27 am
This morning's reading: Brechin, Gray. “A New Deal for California.” Boom 4, no. 4. Accessed January 12, 2015. http://www.boomcalifornia.com/2015/01/a-new-deal-for-california/. Recommended for a reminder of the scope of the New Deal and advertisement for how you can get involved in Citizen History: http://livingnewdeal.org/

I do note the irony of "crowd sourcing" in an era when we could have used a Newer Deal to hire historians to do this.

Yesterday's was the poster abstracts and Thursday's talk abstracts from “2015 CNPS Conservation Conference: Celebrating 50 Years of Progress and Promise.” San Jose, CA, 2015. http://www.cnps.org/cnps/conservation/conference/2015/.


What if you allowed space and time? If you didn’t force the current or want everything to come the way you want it NOW? What if you were patient and accepting of life’s natural timing? What if you allowed space and time to allow the fruit of your creativity to ripen. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/50-creative-questions-to-create-the-life-you-really-want/

This is what i have been trying to do over the past handful of years, to some extent. I've notes about tracking the tides of my energy (often at ebb) and learning from my depression. So, reports from there: there's a force this goes against, and that is the force of dominant culture. The self-talk learned from all the helpful articles about setting goals, the type-A achievement culture pushes against this. Probably .. possibly... there are folks who are accepting of life's timing and are prolific fountains. I'm a little jealous of them at times. I've reached an age where i hear Successful People talking about their formative years and i choke, realizing they are younger than i.

If you allow natural timing, the unnatural world will jet around you giving you the sense that you are stuck in the mud. You need to find a way to deal with the backwash from those motors.

My experience is that it is a good feeling, this natural flow of the order of things. There is still discernment to be done: there are currents to avoid, currents to catch. There are equilibria that bring about a survival state, like being caught in an eddy, pushed into a backwater. One doesn't have to accept that, and there are ways to migrate to other environments with more dynamic equilibria. I think that's the challenge: if you're caught in a stagnant state, how do you migrate to a more dynamic state without over doing it and overpowering the natural flow?

I think of my reading about systems, and realize the answer may be that if one chooses to be patient and accept life's natural timing, one also must choose to be sensitive and alert... and there's something here about great disappointment and joy. There's something about overpowering the natural flow to fight disappointment. I don't think this question is about blindly accepting: i think of various health issues, and i don't think accepting a diagnosis is what is being held up as the ideal in the question. I think the question points to a sort of negotiation with what condition we find comes to us as opposed to a striving with our will.

I suppose this musing is to recognize that there's the Self Help magazine culture of American Dream achievement which is a ego centered striving and another Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for" awareness where one takes in the whole context.

And in that "there is a time" I'd wager there is a time for ego centered striving. I think it's, what, 16? 15?
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Monday, January 12th, 2015 11:08 am
Take the list or similar, and quickly dash off three small things in each area that can be done to improve your quality of being. Then set aside. Repeat the process some time later (a quarter? "ten week" period?) and then review the previous one.

1. Work space
* I've quit using my trackball -- can i do something about that? Do i need to? (Far less motion to tap on the trackpad....)
* I've done so much to optimize this space: it seems the issue is making use of it. Probably something better when i make it photo studio-like.

2. Car/transportation
* clean the interior. If Christine doesn't do it as a surprise for Valentines day when i'm out of town, i'll get it done.
* be a little more intentional about putting the grocery bags in the car instead of throwing them in the back seat.
* Again, i feel like this is optimized....

3. Kitchen
* Continue to pare down stuff that isn't used regularly to make room for the stuff that is.
* Use up or discard all the gluten free flours -- maybe better containers? Hodge podge.
* Damn cabinet door.
* Damn drawer runner.
* Christine says she's going to provide me a diagram of where things go in the refrigerator.
* Oh yeah, this space could use attention.

4. Living room
* This room intentionally ignored.

5. Bedroom
* I think the side effects of intentional embarking and disembarking from the day will help here.

6. Wardrobe
* New sandals for my birthday.
* Purge stuff not being worn.
* This is going well.

7. Reading list or entertainment plans
* More crochet or knitting while watching.
* I think the side effects of intentional embarking and disembarking from the day will bring some intentionality here.

8. Exercise habits
* develop some.
* develop some.
* develop some.

9. Eating habits
* Less eating than cooking habits: explore variations on our standard themes.

10. Spiritual/intellectual maintenance
* continue the practice from the harvest time and holidays of taking micro breaks and reflecting on a prayer of lovingkindness
elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
Monday, January 12th, 2015 10:58 am

After yesterday's journaling i thought about why i didn't have good daily habits and that now would be a good time to develop them.

And i thought about some changes.

And i made some plans.

These plans involved getting up at the usual time.

Not at midnight.

Or 2:15

Or 4:0something.

Which are all times i woke up, with various physical discomforts, unlike my usual sleep through the night.

At the usual time, i crankily kept sleeping.


Anyhow, experiment will continue tomorrow, when i need, want, desire to get in the car and go to a botanical workshop.

Today: well, i did go ahead and do some of the new ritual of casting the day off from dock, and it was sloppy, which i suppose is to be expected on the first try.

We'll see about not abandoning a flaming ship of day at the end of the tour.
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Sunday, January 11th, 2015 07:44 am
[livejournal.com profile] zyzyly wrote about nine things he does everyday, implying this was a meme. His was the first list that i saw. He first lists "poop," after noting that "not sure why everyone else who is doing this avoids the basic functions of human life." I have grown aware that some people are so regular that there is a singular event. For me, it's not as reliable.

1. Sleep. I definitely do this every day. In high school and college, i probably got six hours of sleep a night, at most. I have learned that getting eight creates a substantial difference and i wonder if my memories of such a hazy fog during high school were due to lack of sleep.

2. Eat. My meals can be pretty irregular, but i have not gone a day without eating. I am extremely susceptible to mood swings when I'm hungry.

3. Talk with Christine. There may have been some trips where our schedules and timezones didn't quite work out, but for years -- even when we lived apart -- i've at least talked to her every day.

Is the meme every ideal day? Or every day without fail?

4. Drink black tea. At home, i make a pot of keemun or a variety of blends: winter is a "noel" blend, spring has chocolate and spices, summer juniper and grapefruit, autumn has fruit and cinnamon. Traveling is a bit of a challenge as, other than my mother and sister, most folks aren't prepared for my tea habit. I'll bring my own tea in bags or with an infuser, as many places seem to think of tea as the caffeine free option. Or they will have heavily scented Earl Grey or just green tea.

5. Reflect and plan. Journaling or making notes in my daily log happens, not quite without fail, but close. Unfortunately i seem to do one or the other, but now always both, which jams up one of the works: i'm prepared but not clear (as journaling helps wipe a fog away) or clear but not prepared.

6. Take some stack of pills. This is ideal, because i can forget to take my antidepressants in the morning when i work from home, and i can bypass all the supplements and antihistamine in the evening when i am abandoning the day.

7. Brush my hair. I can't be sure when this happens. Sometimes my hair is braided when i sleep and stays in a braid. On weekends it might just stay in the braid. Odds are i have to rebraid at some point, then brushing would occur.

8. Brush my teeth. Again, i don't have a good time habit here. I drink my tea usually very first thing and so it actually relieves much of the overnight unpleasantness. I strive for twice a day. Woudn't swear it happens.

9. Read. I am pretty sure i read SOMETHING every day. Usually, i read much of the day: emails, articles, "social media", news, notes. My time management and my desires don't line up though, and generally there's more to regularly read than i have time for. So there's not one thing i read every day.

This was a curious exercise, reminding me that i fail southern ladyhood 101 as i never "put my face on" and only casually "make myself presentable" if i can get away with it. Working from home two days a week means making half myself presentable and even then, i know video quality is poor enough that there's only so much precision needed.

My awareness that i am lousy at time habits (pretty good at physical space habits, i think) is again underscored.

I believe that this coming year my mornings will not be so wildly irregular. I have resisted making a morning schedule out of the irritation of so many contingencies. Maybe now is the time to do so. Try to figure out how to fit everything in the morning, or at least rotate focus morning to morning (in the reflect, read and plan areas). There has been a reason my mornings have not been clockwork, but maybe now i can change that.

My evenings... oh, that would be good to plan out too. I abandon the day, a ship of potential that has failed me. Some times the day is merely taking on water, some times the day breaks up. I rarely feel i can moor the day at the dock and disembark with grace. Maybe i need to learn how to do that.
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Saturday, January 10th, 2015 11:27 am
The CIO visited this week. Apparently, my particularly vocal previous staff member had a meeting with him, raising the issues of the previous regime. This came up in the group meeting, where the CIO acknowledged the previous leadership hadn't led us well, said something about different styles, and then qualified with a, "not to say one style is better than another."

I so wanted to blurt, yes you CAN say one is better. But i didn't.


Under the weather with a lousy head cold. Multiple days.


My vacation begins as soon as we finish the install in Sydney tomorrow (3 am their time). Yay! To help me stay up until this midnight install for our east coast data centers, we watched "Reign over Me" which i found endearing. There are strong parallels with "The Fisher King," although it's far less manic.

... and i still didn't post. My new manager encouraged me to skip this morning's Sydney install, so i slept through. Sinus headache this morning.

But i'm on vacation!
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Monday, January 5th, 2015 07:51 am
I'm not feeling the serenity this morning: tea kettle failed, stove took FOREVER, so i checked work email on my phone after the kitchen was tidy and found crises out the wazoo. (Is that how one spells that? Christine laughs when i ask her for spelling help.)

I do not begrudge Christine her morning grieving. It is there, too, though, and it feels like a part of serenity and thriving. I will let her teach me how to grieve.

What helps me here? Feeling i can trust my new director and trading-places-manager. I've been ticking through my morning checklist. I've set a Condition of Enoughness for the day.

I was exchanging brief words with [personal profile] piemancer about paper journals vs typed, and i reflected on how i'm enjoying my digital pens because i can now doodle like the below and yet have the notes with me wherever i am (thanks to the synchronization magic of Evernote). (I may still be traumatized by loosing a paper journal in college.)

(posting by mail)
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Sunday, January 4th, 2015 06:39 am
Christine received more sad news on New Years Day, with the death of her father's brother on late on New Years Eve. Again, not a sudden death, but one expected and in the fullness of time.

Nonetheless, I cannot imagine the sense of loss.


I spent some time looking at the wishes i sketched out several days ago and thought about the words that jumped out at me: thrive, connect, serenity, fit, simplify, finish, create. I find myself thinking of a tree, thriving. The branches and roots connect the tree to others. As part of thriving, the tree is fit and sound. And then, through time the cyclical process of the actions of simplifying, creating, finishing create the sum of serenity. Hmm: serenitree?

I can have that neologism as a theme for the new year, i suppose.

Waverly Fitzgerald, author of the New Year’s Dreams e-workbook i'm using, encourages becoming specific with the wishes: how will it be clear that i've gotten my wish?


Time passes. Friday roadtrip. Saturday working from 6am -3pm (very light weight work, but distracting)


Via [personal profile] emceeaich
When you see this, make a post in your journal or in a community. It can be anything: a crosspost something you've posted on Tumblr, a few words about the last thing you read/watched, or just a "Hi, how is everyone?" Then go read your f-list and leave at least one comment.
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Thursday, January 1st, 2015 07:40 am
Now that we have an antenna, we can watch the broadcast TV. So last night, we tried to do that. First of all, the "LIVE" broadcast from Time Square could not possibly be live because the sparkly ball was still up after 9pm Pacific. WTF.

Apparently everyone on TV is obsessed with butts. Is this all to do with Meghan Trainor and her "All About That Bass"? I was under a rock and missed that that was a thing. I'm charmed by the song's body affirming message, yet not enough to really want to hear it again. There was also a video for Anaconda which was just continuously like the outtakes shown on the tee vee. Don't need to see that again.

OK, so that's my pop culture exposure for 2014, and i'll check between my ear lobes (darling, because that's where culture grows) again in a year or so. (Why is there no video for Thomas Dolby's "Pop Culture?" Was that really pre-MTV? No it was not. Hmph.)

I've got my cane from my sprained ankles this summer. I think i'm ready to sit on my deck and shake it at the world: You kids, get off of my damn LAN.

And so we watched something light and fluffy streaming from Netflix, were tired, and went to bed well before midnight.


Someone posted a link to http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/the-rock-critic-hive-mind-dissecting-the-best-albums-1676075373 which discussed an analysis of year-end music lists. I listened to a few things and decided i will give St Vincent a try. I'm thinking Actor and the new album St Vincent. I skimmed some of the video comments for songs on the recent album and found comments just shy of "sold out" mutterings: I am amused.


Happy New Year to all y'all who observe. I don't really, and will take the dark months of January and February before bursting out with my new Y047 .


Also, in cranky-pants news: why did i trust digitally syncing contact books, ever? I suddenly have hundreds of additional entries, many of which seem to be duplicates which refuse to merge. I'm slowly trying to prune all the data i thought would be nicely kept in the microformat of vcards back into format-free files in Evernote.
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Wednesday, December 31st, 2014 07:33 am
Ministry out of the silence in Friends' worship has certain expected stylistic elements as well as stylistic elements that are derided by some. I roll my eyes at ministry that begins, "This morning on NPR, " or, "I read in the New York Times."

I was chagrined, then, when i found myself beginning ministry last Sunday with, "On Twitter this morning." Well, that wasn't exactly how i began, but it's close. I continue to carry concerns about the racial tensions with police and shared reading this story: https://storify.com/AtotheL/pregnant-woman-maced-in-delray-beach-fl . The point was that we are now able to listen easily to the stories that are being shared with us from those who experience oppression -- and that i am looking for how i am led to take my role in healing the brokenness.

I still only see that i need to listen and witness. I wonder about accompaniment: if we were to move into a house, should we buy in a neighborhood that is far more diverse? The obvious place to select would be excluded by my criteria that we do not buy anywhere that has obvious weakness due to sea-level rise or liquefaction during an earthquake.

I talk periodically with a woman in Meeting who is much more connected to the area social justice community. We've talked about this and both recognize that we need to be followers of black leadership, we need to listen.

We have had a police incident at the Meetinghouse this month, though, and so this may be where we need to do more than listen.
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Tuesday, December 30th, 2014 07:32 am
In the audible queue:

* The Drunken Botanist: The Plants That Create the World's Great Drinks -- Amy Stewart
* The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: (Dramatised)

Finished, comics of two very different forms, both of which i enjoyed. The Pretty Deadly is intense and dark and i'll need to read again now that my "what happens next... next ... next..." speed reading has been satiated.

* Richard's Poor Almanac — Richard Thompson
* Pretty Deadly Vol 1 — Kelly Sue Deconnick (Author), Emma Rios (Illustrator)

Christine set up the record player last night so i finally got to hear my vinyl of In a Roman Mood (1981) by Human Sexual Response. It was what we played while she worked on the set up, so it wasn't a full listen, but i was delighted. The gain and various settings were good when we got to Land of the Glass Pinecones: delighted. Also, we listened to some of Pink Floyd's The Endless River. I hadn't realized that we had the airtunes set up with the nearly antique receiver and speakers (which are fabulous). Quality sound: wow. Also, the sudden fear of blasting away the neighbors.

In slow progress queues:

* And the Pursuit of Happiness – Maira Kalman
* A History of the Swedish People - Vilhelm Moberg
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Monday, December 29th, 2014 07:00 am
My new year is with my birthday in early March. I'm in a much better position to be optimistic then with the lengthening of the days and the greening of the year.

But in getting the piles of reminders for December and early January sorted, i ran across an e-workbook for preparing for a new year, spread out over four weeks. Given my life, spreading it out over eight weeks seemed wise.

It starts with wishing.

I'm not sure how good a wisher i am, but i wrote out wishes for different parts of my life, scribbling away with the digital pen on my iPad. I do like the combination of tactile with digital!

Wishing does lead me to some awareness of being thankful. I am particularly aware that i am delighted to find that Travelsmith makes dresses that are consistently sized and cut in a way that is both flattering and fits. I have been buying them for a couple years now (gifts from the catalog, and then filling in as dresses come in at my budget price of $20 on eBay). Pants have never fit me right, not when i was a skinny stick as a teen nor as my full figured self now. In general, I am very comfortable about my appearance.

Not my fitness level: the last half of the year was even more sedentary than before -- and i would have had to describe myself as sedentary then. But my ankles and feet are mostly happy these days, and i have no excuse to not walk. Christine's got the bike back and happy, so even if (when, please) we have another spate of rain, i should be able to exercise. (We have a stand that converts the bike to a stationary bike.)


One of the gifts received this year was Plenty: Vibrant Recipes from London's Ottolenghi. I am not very good at following recipes, usually with acceptable results. Last night's attempt at making turnip dumplings inspired by the parsnip dumplings was as disaster. The first fail was not recognizing how important it was for the batter to be stiff and to follow the direction to steam off water from the mashed veggie. I made another fail by folding in crepe batter: this was also far too runny.

Even after adding much more dry mix, the batter seemed more fluid, like cake batter, than stiff, so i poured it all into a pan and baked it. I think i have turnip bread now. And it needs salt.

OK, overconfidence in the kitchen has now been adjusted to an appropriate level of humility.

Leek fritters are next from the cookbook.
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Sunday, December 28th, 2014 08:11 am
This morning's spam seemed like an interesting new tack:

From: FBI
Date:2014/12/28 01:40 (GMT-08:00)
Subject: $


I have cleaned off much of one of my digital desktops yesterday and this morning (My Evernote tickler tags and incoming "notebook"). I don't know how valuable it is as sometimes i feel like i just put a two month tickler on everything to think about later. I have gotten pretty good at putting in delete dates to things, though, so there's hope that i will put an end to things that just never turn out to be important enough.

This is one of the woes of "getting organized:" i have a record of things i thought might be worth doing and the natural erosion of memory doesn't delete them for me.

Off for coffee with friends and then to Meeting, where i hope i feel led to, at least, read social justice queries. If i am led to ministry about the visibility of oppression and a call to awareness, i hope i will hear and act.
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Saturday, December 27th, 2014 06:47 am
I started listening to _The Drunken Botanist_ earlier this week (and managed to return _Origin of the Feces_ as it was far too annoying with "oh, i am about to use the s word!"). I've decided that the book should be called _The Drunken, Broke Botanist_ as the first section on agave and the beverages produced there from has made me curious about fine mezcals (more details). Honestly, i probably wouldn't like them at all, but the romance of roasted agave heart, caramelized sugars, and distilling methods that might be Philippine or indigenous fascinates me. Faced with a distilled liquor, undiluted, i would probably make a face that would do Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes fame proud.
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Friday, December 26th, 2014 06:59 am
Christine is calling to order the flowers for her sister-in-law's memorial, which will be tomorrow.

Back to work today, with news of a preproduction install process that has screwed up that system. I am appreciating my new role as a team member not leader: i can help today, but the person who took over my role is in on Monday. All of this is in his lap then. There will be Kerfflufles over this, and I am delighted not to have to sit in them and hold my ground. The new release manager will, perhaps, attack the screwed up system.

I presume i will be continuing with the consultants who are so distant from their deadline, but the document promised for the end of Christmas Eve has not arrived yet (from a person who, when i expressed regret that he wasn't on the west coast with more hours in the work day to go, replied "It's not my holiday").

We had lovely sunshine yesterday and walked in the baylands, delighting in the bird life. One of my favorite birds are ruddy ducks, which seem like big ducklings. Their dives are so effortless and elegant.

We talked about my current experience of anhedonia, and Christine reminded me of the Sunday before Thanksgiving, when i began to feel the emotional drain of my work as the responsibility left me. She reminded me that i observed that the recovery from my previous role would take time, and this need to rest, to sleep is probably part of that recovery.

I think a moment about when i left graduate school and took a system administration job. I could tell then, too, that i needed to recover. And i did.