elainegrey: Inspired by Grypping/gripping beast styles from Nordic cultures (Default)
2025-04-27 11:56 am

(morning writing, health, watching notes, reading notes)

So funny i almost burst into tears:

https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-starts-national-registry-of-introverts-who-sometimes-get-social-anxiety/

Where "funny" means overwhelmed with a sense of how unreal real is, and horror of other people.

--== ∞ ==--

Friday afternoon and yesterday i had to leave Earth, so i got a digital edition of  The Deed of Paksenarrion and went off to another land. (Not sure why it's not "deeds," plural.) There's a part of the story where the main character Pak, after having risen to a high point in everyone's estimation of her character and abilities, undergoes torture and is broken. The character spirals into poverty and despair -- and i wonder how much time Moon has spent with wounded veterans. The insight and compassion of the story into suffering and then the time and (seeming to me) realistic route of healing  still brings me to tears.

In normal times i would wonder how this country could not create a well resourced network to provide healing and support to the many who served and gave up so much in that service. In these times...

--== ∞ ==--

Watched The Accountant, which came out in 2016 and that makes my head hurt. I don't know how the sequel reflects the politics of autism at this time, but ... something makes me think of mandelbrot sets. (And i wrestle my brain back.) Anyhow, it was a fun diversion... Thursday night, maybe? I forget.

--== ∞ ==--

 Read more... )

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2024-05-23 07:40 am

(morning writing, f&f, watching notes, work)

So non sto. I already wrote about the weekend, but look, i recap again:

Saturday - So humid. Ended in buckets of rain when we went out to get shrimp po'boys at the trying-hard-to-be-a-destination location in town, then stopped at my nibling's high school art show. (Charges admission, which, i guess, the sports teams do it why not the art show?)

Sunday - brunch at my sister's to visit with my brother's son who had arrived after a long delayed flight and who is staying with my dad while being forced off campus until next term and his summer job start.

Monday was a normalish work day, i worked a little late taking a mandated AI training course, then mowed the orchard plus whatever until the battery died, then weed whacked up at the road a little bit. Can't kill all the invasive (rank 3) daisies but can discourage reproduction. I'm a little sad i was so successful with the Queen Anne's lace (also rank 3). There were no daisies by the roadside when i was growing up, but Queen Anne's lace features in nostalgic memories of summer, including early in my marriage to Christine. I think i must have picked roadside Queen Anne's lace and daylilies driving down the DelMarVA peninsula to be with her for weekends when i was in grad school and she was in Edenton on the radio.  We had received two lovely art glass pitcher/vases as wedding gifts and the cobalt blue one, with daylilies and Queen Anne's lace, sitting on the kitchen table in late afternoon light is a bright glowing memory ....

Tuesday and Wednesday were both full of context switching and long strings of meetings. I got a little experience with AI using the prompt training from Monday. It does seem to help to tell chatgpt that it is an expert with thirty years of experience in [area] who also is an award winning educator, writing clear  articles, and that it should [do thing] for another expert in the area who is familiar with the terminology. Telling it to be an expert and a clear writer seems to improve, but telling it it's also writing for another expert helps bring the content up to a potentially more useful level. I am not spending so much time rolling my eyes saying "i knew that" and "that's what i asked" and feeling like it's merely parroting my prompt.

I see the potential, and -- like getting help from humans  -- it's frequently not useful  or satisfying until you spend time getting familiar with each other. I wonder if agents are as inevitable as remote controls for everything, mobile phones, smart phones. I don't know if the current costs will really be worth it. I think about the switch from typewriters to word processing and the level of fuss that then was possible. One typed some thing out, yeah yeah, get the margins right and the line spacing right.  I don't think bold and italics were possible? And if you needed math or formulae you wrote them in? And then experts in formatting would take over, whether the publisher or the admin who had become a LaTeX expert. But once everyone had a word processor at hand everyone was fiddling with markups and styles. What had been an expert skill was democratized yes, but not everyone was skillful and the time sink for people who were experts in something else.

AI minutes of the Zoom meeting we had yesterday were ... meh with "where did it get that from" and "that was a minor aside" .. and while no one needs to volunteer for  collaborative scribing in Google Docs, everyone reviewing the "minutes" will need to put more work in.

Tuesday night was in the car getting my nephew from my Dad's, meeting up with C at home, going to a restaurant, getting Christine home to care for Edward, taking Z to a drug store for allergy meds because cat hair. (I shared how i found i was allergic to cats in college,  he muttered something that indicates he might be discovering the same thing.) Then to Dad's and back. I don't drive enough and ground gears once shifting. Bleh i need to insist on being the driver more.

Groceries last night then watching the Wednesday sci fi. Currently Halo, which is oddly better than Stargate Universe. We've tried watching that Stargate twice, but i always get very turned off by the not one trusts anyone plot threads.

Friday i go to New Bern with Dad and nephew Z, which should be an all day thing.

Anyhow,....

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2024-04-03 07:39 am

Woah. (camping, bird notes, road trip, perpetual calendar, watching notes, weather, household )

notes, weather, household

Busy, i presume with focus on the eclipse road trip planning after a weekend with family. I am also learning substack, as a place to share longform posts under my public name, and instagram, to weasel my way into my niblings' lives. Eldest nibling is not found on Instagram yet. So it goes.

Sports: great LSU vs Iowa women's basketball game. Have enjoyed watching the NCSU men's team as well. So tickled NCSU  women's and men's teams are going to final four. The women's championship is while i am driving to Indiana and the men's while i am in Indiana. I have figured out the radio stations that might carry the men's game at the campground.

Learned how to use instagram's editor and posted this there, as well, with words on it. No music, no hyping over-speaking.

Sunday my raingage thermometer hit 93°. Raleigh had its record pollen count on Monday, no fooling, 1.48 times the count of the next highest record pollen count.  I've been watching the high flying fireflies the past three nights (not as unusual as that seems). The wall of green is going up, but i can still see some sky. Today's high is 74°, low 44° and some nights ahead with lows in the mid 30s, which means i should cover the blueberries.

Eclipse weather changes EVERY TIME i look. Damp probably, but not so much to turn me off. I am going to see how comfortable the jeep's seats are when reclined and check on running a tarp from the roof. We'll be getting tents from my sister, but....

Getting the deck stained because the wood is suffering from the elements. Power washed yesterday - top step had a pretty rotten spot (due to me having planters on the wood, i wager. Kinda worried how it will look with all the weathered wood siding, but taking care of one of the many things that needs to be done is good. Way expensive job, but we really like this tradesperson. Christine spent time talking radio and X-files with him, so i think she's happy coordinating this work. notes, weather, household

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2024-03-30 07:35 am

Oh happy day (f&f, watching notes, reading notes, work, bread notes)

Oh happy day: UNC Health and UnitedHealthcare have come to an agreement, and i can quit stewing over my last appointment with the surgeon and whether to go or not.

In sour news, i over-fermented my bread batter (it's too fluid to be a dough) and it's now dumped in the garden. Go go nitrogen. Technically, it was the soaking step -- i drained and let them sit as damp seed too long. I've let that stage go long in the past for sprouted grain, but i guess i didn't stir enough. I tried the fermenting step despite the off scent, and it just got worse. I'd made similar buckwheat groat pancake batter, and the bread batter's funk influenced my attitude to the pancake batter, and i dumped most of the results. I did have a good baking powder vs baking soda experiment, though.

In where have you been updates: i dunno. Healthy, more or less. Although allergies and pollen, and an afternoon off from work when i was so brain fuzzy. Burnt out a little from work since, i dunno August when the Massive Protocol Change project began and colleagues started departing. New director and manager (both lateral) are OK. New manager is happy to pickup things old manager was too burnt out to manage. I look forward to passing some of what i have been carrying. The manager to whom  i report is OK, although very easy going and not as opinionated as my previous. I did like that, mainly as something to learn against, anvil-like,

Yard work has occurred off and on,mostly off this past week.

I reread Nathan Lowell's Hermit of Lammas Wood fantasy, and i've picked up two of the three  Smuggler's series from the Solar Clippers.

iPad has been returned to Apple: no exchange value. Christine wants the old tiny macbook, which won't be able to run the latest operating system. I need to upgrade it to the latest possible before passing it on. I moved the data to my new macbook pro: i went ahead and got the larger size, maxed out chips and memory, and Christine urged me to consider something other than the default color. I now have a "starlight" case, which is subtly different in a pleasant way. I had dismissed it as "gold" but after nudges i did some research and saw comparison photos elsenet that gave me a better sense for the slight tonal shift. I am definitely delighted by the lack of friction (ie: everything is faster, trackpad slicker, keys smoother) compared to how the old machine behaved.

I bought a nifty dock for my phone that acts as a touchscreen tablet and external keyboard. It's (a little) lighter and smaller than the big laptop, and will give me comfortable viewing and typing capabilities with the phone while traveling. I wish it was a more responsive screen. Maybe in a few years i'll see if there are other options.

Visited with nibling D and his mom M and Dad on a Friday day off: much driving around the countryside, which is Dad's thing. D was at the Navy academy for a visit weekend and has been visiting other schools, too. Today we will go to Duke's Nasher art museum and then Duke gardens, then D is back on the plane to go home to Singapore. I had a good chat with M about Ramadan and the eclipse -- which apparently does have some significance, and D managed himself well myself and Dad.

Christine stayed home: Marlowe had a vet visit and some tooth extractions (although not as bad as was expected). Christine's sister D came over and they had some time to process their loss together -- also good. She had stayed up to watch UNC's Sweet Sixteen game end in tears, so there was that as well.

I've been much more attentive to basketball this tournament season as the NC State team has been a delight, tearing through the conference tournament, and now through the national tournament. And lo, the rematch with Duke occurs tomorrow in the elite eight stage early enough in the evening when i will be able to watch the whole thing.  I do note that eclipse weekend is the final four and championship game. I've just looked up the sports radio possibilities for the two markets close to our location. It is unclear if the game is at 7:30 or 9:30 pm. I sure hope it's not 9:30 pm.

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2024-03-24 06:37 pm

I don't know (watching notes, reading notes, f&f, executive function vacation, work)

vacation, work

It's been a rough month for Christine and parts of her family. Her sister D's husband was in ICU with mysterious heart issues, including loosing a pulse for something like 20 seconds. That was very worrisome. He's home now, but Christine wanted to support them but her sister wasn't really letting her.  If it had been my sister i would have just gone, but siblings are different.

Then her brother L reached the point where hospice let family know it was time to see him. L died on Saturday the 16th; we went to the memorial yesterday. Christine's birth place in her family -- a decade younger than her closest sibling in age --  puts her out of rhythm with everyone. I realized Christine's older nieces and nephews are my sister's age (she's 11 years younger than me), and Christine's eldest sister is nine years younger than my father. We haven't seen them in ages: not only is there the weird half generation off-step, but there is the division between her brother's clan of Campus Crusade, home-schooled kids and Christine's gender transition.

Dad's sweetheart Shirley came down with double pneumonia. He was planning on two weeks in Sicily with her in April but she won't be able to fly for a while. Dad's going to go for a shorter visit alone, a scouting trip, flying on (free) military standby flights. He talked so much about those military standby flights before Mom passed (and used them for travel at least once to California), i was surprised he got so caught up in dating locally. I thought he'd have a duffelbag packed and would be hanging out on bases around the world a year after Mom passed.

I've been OK but a little detached from the good energy i had a few weeks ago.  In a rare moment of paying attention to my mood, "sour" came to mind as appropriate for a mood I am assuming some amount of this is work, with a new team manager starting and preparation underway to double the team size with contractors. It's been a blur at work, with, perhaps last week as the end of my executive function. Also, stilt grass sprouting, other invasives shouting  their presence - sigh. I have negative self talk about my body, about so many other things. That slipped in and i suspect it's a big part of the sour moods.

I don't really remember the Mar 9-10 weekend -- i guess i was reading? (See previous entry.)  Last weekend (Mar 16-17) i did lots of yard work, aching after.  This weekend i've been going all sorts of directions, but i think i've made a little progress in all those.

Also, there was basketball, and my alma mater played well.  I've continued (re)reading: this past week through the first four of Nathan Lowell's "The golden age of the solar clipper" universe's "trader tales."

Since the 10th I've peopled a little more than usual: two zoom visits with friends and my sibling zoom visit today, my niece's theater production of "Freaky Friday",  memorial yesterday. I've been shopping: i bought a nifty gadget that is essentially a laptop without processor and memory: for that you plug in your phone. Android phones have a desktop mode and then this would make doing things on the phone (like during travel) easier.

I'm also thinking about the eclipse trip and spinning around my head with plans. Just went out to look at where i thought the camping equipment was, but it is incomplete. Fie. No idea where the other camping kitchen stuff would be in all the unpacked stuff.  I thought i'd lost the tiny burner of the small stove: turns out that it was in a pot. Christine says i can not bother to cancel the order for the second burner. A second burner could be nice given a power outage, assuming a second tank of fuel. I do know where the sleeping bags are, yay.

TimeAndDate.com has an excellent capability to provide hyperlocal timings for the eclipse stages https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/in/@38.773,-85.690?iso=20240408 documents the schedule for where  I'm going. (A bit on the edge of totality vacation, work

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2024-03-19 07:33 am

(reading notes, watching notes)

Written Monday morning while i should have been working on some audit data collection:

Last week i was pretty subdued all week. I think i was working very hard at work, so all my executive function was gone when not at work. I reread a couple speculative fiction novels, read some from the New Suns anthology and finished some cozy fantasy short stories. I was impressed by how little i remembered of the novels. I know i had read the Elizabeth Moon and AC Crispin works because the ereaders returned me to the end. I can't remember if that's true of Bujold's Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen. That was very cozy and suited my need. Really didn't remember it.

On Tuesday I had started R F. Kuang's Babel and was too depressed by the story of imperial abuse. Given my low mood, i returned it to the library on Wednesday. It seems an excellent book, though. I just spent too much time worrying about the protagonist. Sunday night we finished the Britbox Original Murder is Easy, enjoying placing the actors in previous shows (Shetland, that Amazon Lord of the Rings prequel, Downton Abbey). I worried about that protagonist, too, but i trusted the genre to limit the abuse that would be heaped upon the curious Nigerian who shows up in the typical mystery English village. (So. Many. Murders!)

Some of that reading was during the Atlantic Coast Conference college basketball playoffs. We had not turned off the cable subscription when the super bowl was over and so we'd started watching some basketball. (That is, for me reading or computer puttering while it's on.) Christine had sent the bracket and i saw my alma mater, NC State, was ranked 10, with Duke (sister's husband, Christine's parents, possibly my nephew), Carolina (several of Christine's sibs), and U VA (brother) all in the path to winning the conference. Well, that would be entertaining. Christine was delighted to cheer on NCSU to beat Duke, where one might ponder if Duke wasn't bringing their A game. But Duke vs UVA was an excellent game and so was Duke vs UNC. Wow, when i was in college NCSU was a basketball powerhouse but apparently not since then. So this was delightful. Unsure whether the program will perform next season. Or in the National championship playoffs.

By the time March Madness is over, it will be baseball season, i guess?

BUJOLD, LOIS MCMASTER. /GENTLEMAN JOLE AND THE RED QUEEN./ Vorkosigan Saga 17. SIMON & SCHUSTER, 2017.

Crispin, A. C. /StarBridge (StarBridge #1)/. Place of publication not identified: A.C. Crispin, 2012.

Moon, Elizabeth. /Command Decision/. 2008 Del Rey mass market ed. Vatta’s War. New York: Del Rey, 2008.

Shawl, Nisi, Rebecca Roanhorse, Silvia Moreno-Garcia, Tobias S. Buckell, Kathleen Alcala, Minsoo Kang, Steven Barnes, Chinelo Onwualu, Darcie Little Badger, and LeVar Burton. New Suns: Original Speculative Fiction by People of Color. Solaris, 2019.

Webb, Nathaniel, Amanda Cook, Dan Crawford, Angelica Fiori, Natasha Inwood, Rajiv Moté, J. A. Prentice, Katherine Quevedo, and Nathan Slemp. /Wyngraf: Issue 1/. Young Needles Press, 2022.

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2023-07-14 07:34 am
Entry tags:

(random, watching notes)

I found myself talking about the movie Michael Clayton on Thursday with my dad and sibs. My opinion is summed up by this yard sign: https://shop.joemande.com/products/yard-sign . (Admittedly, since we are only 1/5th done with the century, the last line is questionable.) In doing some web searching about the significant scene with horses in it, i was startled to find this book,

Clayton Michael. 1992. Horses. New York NY: Smithmark.

Coincidence the movie with a significant scene involving horses has a title with the same name as the author of a coffee table book on horses? I wonder.
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2023-02-12 07:24 pm

Super bowl edition (watching notes, cooking, garden, f&f)

Weekend sads include: Setting big goals for Saturday and getting no where near them. The fruit trees are not yet planted.

I was a little miffed that a planning meeting on Saturday night had a wrong eastern time zone time; but it meant i was sitting at the computer when Dad called. I think we had a good chat: he'd been blue but cheered up talking.

Chipping the rim of a tiny little china plate in a set of four that we got to serve whipped cream to Luigi. Also, i tried making a egg salad with some of my pickled green tomatoes but, yoiks, i used too much vinegar.

I've tried making a sauce out of a good bunch of them, hoping a can of tomato paste will cut the overwhelming tart. I think i then erred on the mustard, letting the powder sit in water for ten minutes before adding it to the acid. I hope it mellows well.

I also tried rehydrating my tough as leather figs with some spices and a bit of orange peel. Fig marmalade? I'll see.

Despite saying no more plants, i did get some spiderwort -- which are an edible flower as well as leaves and roots -- planted in my edible spring veg and flower section. I'll have day lilies there, and i wonder about a blue and orange flower stirfry. I ended up buying Solomon's seal and ostrich fern from a bargain Etsy seller today, imagining the ferns and the asparagus-like Solomon's seal in the same part of the plot, lovely shade friendly plants.

Had a nice visit with my sister and the young woman who helped care for Mom. She really

Game day notes include:

Go Eagles! (Where i won't loose any sleep over the game.)

Probably not a legal way to quote a tweet, but i liked the Bud Light ad. We didn't watch many -- we paused to fix dinner and feed the pets, so we could skip many of the ads and the half time show.


https://twitter.com/Royameadow/status/1624956744102297600
Roya Rockwood
[profile] royameadow

"Opus Number One" was originally produced by Tim Carleton and Darrick Deel in I989, serving as a core part of Cisco's Music on Hold set; Bud Light using it in its ad for #SuperBowlLVII validates the fact that the New Age genre is back, expect more of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7xn5zeJ4D4
Opus No. 1
Provided to YouTube by DistroKid Opus No. 1 · Tim Carleton
9:20 PM · Feb 12, 2023


Well, with Anheuser-Busch letting go of exclusive (red-white-and-blue) alcohol advertising during the super bowl, we get David Grohl's "Thank You Canada" ad mentioning Rush and Crown Royal.

Oh, OK, the premature electrification ad is not bad. And i kinda liked the Workday Rock star ad.

And, Mahones is a great quarterback, so yay for him. (Sads for the Eagles and poor Philly.)
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2023-01-14 07:26 am

(health, f&f, reading notes, watching notes)

Yay antibiotics! Feeling better. Not back yet.

Brother's family is heading back to Singapore. My sister and i continue to worry about my brother, although i admitted to Christine that one of our significant worries has no basis in anything my brother has said. Christine, instead of taking that as evidence we are looking for trouble added on by suggesting my brother might be oblivious. Which... yeah. So we worry about our brother.

I have been resting as best i can. Thus reading.

Czerneda, Julie E. A Thousand Words for Stranger: 10th Anniversary Edition. Reissue edition. DAW, 2007.

I can't remember why Czerneda ended up on my reading list; the hat tip is to "sapience 2011-12-04" which does not ring a bell. This wasn't in the books listed in that note, either. This book reminded me a little of some of Miller and Lee's writing: romance between a human and humanoid from a xenophobic culture, space trading context. I'm not sure the resonance does the book any favors in my reading since i am so invested in the Liadian universe. The humanoid culture's eugenic background and some of the gendered power dynamics that resulted might have been more interesting to me in 1997 than now.

Short Fiction, by Robert Sheckley - Free Ebook Download. Accessed January 13, 2023. https://standardebooks.org/ebooks/robert-sheckley/short-fiction.

I enjoyed these, with a classic Science Fiction energy and rhythm to the story telling. They hold up well with the nostalgic media of recording things on tape and innocent modeling of AI development. Sheckley was born in the mid 20s and, while i am sure there are racial subtext "of the times," none slapped me in the face (see Smith, Sayers). Maybe one description's reference to ancestry? Unquestioned gendered roles, but -- shrug.

The Skylark of Space, by E. E. Smith - Free Ebook Download. Accessed January 13, 2023. https://standardebooks.org/ebooks/e-e-smith/the-skylark-of-space.

Noped out. The writing was just a little too ... wooden? The bad guy set-up a little to melodramatic? Mustache twirling would have occurred in another genera. Very early in the description of an assistant to a main character slapped me in the face with a racial term that made me grit my teeth. No woman showed up or was referred to, but i was prepared to cringe around it.

Sayers, Dorothy. Whose Body? Lord Peter Wimsey 1. Accessed January 13, 2023. https://standardebooks.org/ebooks/dorothy-l-sayers/whose-body.

I apparently read the Dorthy Sayers in 2009 but have no memory of it. The antisemitism seemed to me to be observed and not condoned, that is, the reader was not put in a place of being complicit with the attitudes of the time in my non critical reading. I have grown a high tolerance for genera British mysteries and the attitudes that include not only the North American biases but also biases against Welsh (which feels like the biases against Southerners and Appalachian folks in the US), any one not from Britain (constantly skewered in episodes of Poirot), particularly Italian and Spanish characters (so frequently the red herring suspects) and Catholics (offset by Father Brown, etc). I suppose growing up in the South of the 70s, the racial landscape was so Black and white that other biases and prejudices have a somewhat anthropological curiosity.

Finch. Amblin Partners, Apple Original Films, Dutch Angle, 2021.

Not a book! We signed up for the proffered free trial of Apple's streaming to watch. I was not excited at the prospect of Tom Hanks reprising Castaway with a robot instead of a beach ball. But the robot was wonderful in its fanatastical channeling of a teenage boy. Such a sweet performance. I enjoyed the robot's journey. I did have to slap the suspension of disbelief over my reaction to the robot learning. Very hard. And i sat on it. I have not seen Tom Hanks in Pinocchio so i can't compare there. The robot is far far more fantasy than science fiction, the story a fable or fairy tale. One could make a surface comparison to The Martian, but while the Martian underscored its believably, ... i ... again, fairy tale, sitting on the box of reactions sealed up with a suspension of disbelief.
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2023-01-02 02:13 pm
Entry tags:

Happy New Year (watching notes, observe)

First, i need sunlight. It's been the gloom since New Years Eve.

Last week i wanted to get more yard work done, but got some done, which is better than none. But stuff remains, and i am already Oh-Woe-Is-Me about surgery recovery time starting in mid April. I will probably get better with a hoe because i always give up and bend over and weed by hand. (Because there are plants to preserve. Hoeing seems so -- violent.)

And i made progress on work things, so Yay. I think my organization might be able to bow out of a "hackathon" to show the developers of a W3C spec for protecting privacy in the authentication flow some problematic aspects. Instead, i filed a change request against poor wording. I am not excited about travel, and while, Yay, the 28 Feb-1 March hackathon is no longer in the cold north, it is way across the country in the bay area (which yay-ish, because familiar, but not so yay, because would be there for intense work and not seeing people and landscape).

I had a stack of projects for the new years weekend and have spent the whole time on genealogy, found a digital copy of someone's excellent research. (And she was a correspondent with my Dad's aunt!) Aaaand she has evidence that the "standard story" family told about the father of the original B--- who came to that section of Georgia is hornswaggle. Which was just great because i had spent hours and hours picking our documents about the hornswaggle line that i might take my nephew to see in the NC Archives. Arrgh. Of course, she isn't confident about who that father might be. It doesn't help that everybody named their sons William and James.

The one happy bit of news is that i was suspicious about the links as well 'cause evidence was thin.

My dad is all, "Well My Granddaddy Said."

Observations for the holidays:

Dad took Christine and I out to eat at a decent but not special Chinese restaurant on New Years Eve as our Christmas gift. I had advised Dad about not just giving cash; i believe my advice was taken verbatim. (Also better than military base sliced cheese which i think was the other choice.) Christine is indignant that that was all the gift and when i checked with my sister she too thought it wasn't quite right. I have mixed feelings as sometimes i don't give really expensive gifts and ... whatever? It's the time, and care, right? So, i am letting my sister have a go ad advising Dad. He clearly leaned on Mom for maintaining all relationships.

Christmas eve we watched the movie TÁR. Cate Blanchett was incredible, and it's a powerful film. But.... The Roger Ebert reviewer Glen Kenny puts it well, "TÁR is not a diatribe or parable, but an interrogation, one that seeks to draw the viewers in, and compel them to consider their own place in the question." It was about abuse of power, which really wasn't a question i wanted to explore. It was extremely subtle with narrative elements that were both revealing and yet mysterious. For example, the main character's hearing was so acute and she was awakened by a metronome running rooms away in the middle of the night - revealing in how she carried herself in the waking and silencing. Mysterious in, why was the metronome running? I appreciated how another reviewer pointed out how the film invites us to start imagining a conspiracy, but doesn't engage in that speculation.

Meanwhile, it was warm and i could hear frogs singing -- probably in the tree just out our front door, and Christine was agog i could hear the frog while watching the film. I do sympathize with the main character's hearing. I realized some time back the reason why noises that became Issues in Meeting for Worship didn't bother me was because i was always hearing so many noises. Peoples' watches ticking, chairs creaking as weight shifted, fabric rustling, bird song, cars and trucks, airplanes.

On Sunday we had my sister and her spouse over to see Rocky. I made pretzels which went very well. I used premade pizza dough, i soaked the knots in a 3/4 c baked baking soda to 2 c water solution for 4 minutes (didn't boil them), rinsed off the solution, and baked in a baking basket. (This is some metal mesh thing for grilling veggies or fish, said my mom when she handed off to me.) It was a just a moment too long in the oven, but the basket meant the whole surface browned up. It was excellent. I will do again.

The movie though. Am i supposed to spoiler cut for 40+ year old films? The Adrian plot-line is a "romantic interest" plot of its time. I found fascinating the race part of the plot, and found myself wondering if this movie was part of the anti-intellect trend in America. The heavyweight champion is intelligent and well spoken as well as the champion. And black. And he's aware that the potential paying audience is white and would be engaged by a white guy being his opponent. From The Guardian in 2016,

In Rocky, Apollo (played by Carl Weathers) is smug, cynical and money-obsessed. One critic called it the “portrayal of blacks as displacers of whites, allies of power and authority, and strong but soulless”.

Elsewhere
One of the few critics who did not agree with the hegemonic position was Michael Gallantz, who in “Rocky’s Racism” (1978) argued that the movie is filled with a discrimination that “is as mysteriously invisible as it is systematic and vicious”. The author states that Rocky is the reflection of a backlash against the achievements of the African American community that took place during the 70s. That derived from the fear of white Americans of losing their rights in favor of a potentially new order led by privileged Blacks. In the first movie, the embodiment of that threat is Apollo, an uppity world heavyweight champion who ostentatiously enjoys privileges such as wealth, power, and fame. Gallantz claims that the powerful hidden narrative of Rocky takes form through the innovative and apparently egalitarian, inclusive, and non-stereotypical representation of Blacks. That is possible by presenting that progressive society as a naturalized menace in which Rocky’s oppression represents the situation of all white Americans. -- https://popmec.hypotheses.org/3029


Yeah.

Anyhow, we may now be committed to watching Rocky films every New Years? Hrm
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2022-08-02 05:57 pm

(watching notes, coe, procrastination, garden)

Happies:

Tickler that it was time to order the pecan trees. So i did. And they will be here the week of 10 October.

Condition of enoughness was to get back on the metaphorical horse of the to-do-list thing. And i have done it. Tomorrow's is set to write at least three thank you notes.

Very happy to see a new season of Shetland is available. While i prefer resolving my mystery in one go, the show is lovely enough to watch that i can cope with the delayed resolution. Also new Endeavour. This will be a pleasant few months of viewing for our Sunday night mystery.

Wednesday night is a Sci Fi rotation. We finished Kenobi, which i found pleasantly diverting. Season 2 of Picard is in rotation, and i am less delighted with the time travel plot line. At least the over the top, jack booted fascist plot element didn't drag on. Strange New Worlds works for me.
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2022-05-01 09:29 am

A blur of a Saturday (health, f&f, out of the blue, watching notes, listening notes)

Friday night i went out with my sister. Out! I never go out, it has never been my thing. (Ugh, and this morning my sister has suggested that she will start getting me out, OMG, No.)

Anyhow, we went Out Friday night, first for food which was Thai green papaya salad and prawns wrapped and fried like spring rolls. Then to a hole in the wall in Durham called the Pinhook in which very very loud music was played beyond my ability to understand what i was hearing. We were out late, but not egregiously late. But all Saturday i was in a blur. It's like i was very very hung over? Except i had consumed no alcohol. I dunno. Interesting people watching, felt a bit anthropological, happy to be in a queer friendly space but i am boring.

Music was Ghösh ("a nü jungle, digital hardcore, US grime band from Philadelphia formed in 2018") and Screaming Females (Marissa Paternoster's voice is incredible).

Last night Christine and i played gin rummy and i won my second game in three turns: an excellent knock, a 4 point knock, and then gin. I was tired and felt my self phasing in and out, and the second game wrapped up pretty quickly with Christine winning - gin twice? Anyhows. My sister has threatened to come over and play with us and so i won't go out again until she comes over and plays cards.

I really am ... curious about my current fuzzy feeling. Driving to my sister's on Friday i phased out a bit too. Sick? Or is doing something so very different a trigger for me to spin out? I still feel ... congested-ish?

(Side note: was delighted with the vaccine check and mask requirements at Pinhook, also delighted with it's safer space, queer and Black friendly vibe.)

In random watching news, Christine and i are watching Amazing Hotels. We had gotten quite delighted with the TV show Grand Designs. For me, growing up with my parents building our homes, there's some resonance. For Christine, it opened up her eyes to what can go into creating a home. We ran out of episodes and have since looked for things to fill the gap: this is our current filler. The restaurant critic presenter doesn't impress me, but i do enjoy the chef presenter.

I binged on four episodes of "Our Flag Means Death" when i was in a procrastination depression: i was entertained. I spent much time scrolling through the Twitter threads as fans call a second season.

Christine and i have been watching "Painting with John" (John Lurie). It has introduced me to John's Marvin Pontiac music (which i now love) and his water colors (which i now love). If you have HBOmax and you like the quirky, you should give this show a chance.
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2021-12-12 09:00 am

(garden, garden mandala, watching notes)

Popcorn: having grown lots of a mix of pop corn varieties and selected for purple, what to do with it all. Pop it? It's not popping. Internet says it needs to be at 15%. Some grower showed corn in a jar with a small hygrometer in the jar, showing a reading in the teens. So, the hygrometers were not too dear, so i bought a pair, and the jar read about what the house read (in the 50 percent humidity). I tried dehydrating a cup of corn, 4 hours at 120°F, and returned it to the jar. After a few days, it read in the 30% region. OK: so, corn is too damp for popping. I've dried all the shucked corn for 8 hours, and the jar is reading 30% now. I assume what is happening is the very dry corn is sucking the moisture out of the air in the jar.

It is so humid here. I'd say we were in a drought, but we have finally gotten some rain. Might just be abnormally dry.

Q ... ... Quality queries: i'm not doing an hour's meditation on Sunday, but i am taking fifteen minutes most mornings to just sit with a dozing Christine. I think if i were to find some queries i could help myself get back into good meditation practice in smaller doses.

Raking and flaming: With a little rain Friday-Saturday night, i felt i could flame weed the drive after raking up pine needles. I raked up some in the garden, but covered the pile against the Saturday-Sunday night rain. I'll go out and burn some more this morning. It was very warm yesterday: today the flame might be pleasant.

Something to watch:
Amazon Prime's description of Clarkson’s Farm: “Jeremy Clarkson is a journalist, a broadcaster, and a man who travels the world to slide sideways in supercars while shouting,” Amazon explains. “He is not a farmer, which is unfortunate because he’s bought a 1000-acre farm in the English countryside and decided to run it himself, despite knowing nothing whatsoever about farming.”

We were very entertained by the first episode and look forward to more. I hope it creates an understanding of what farmers go through. His financial capability does insulate him from the realities of the losses he experiences in the first episode.


Tornadoes: i saw the news within moments of waking on Saturday. My friend K and i had commented on the way it looked like tornado weather as we looked at the front and the wind patterns midday on Friday. Eye on the Storm has a good write up.
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2021-09-13 06:49 am

(watching notes, mom and caa, f&f, cooking )

While the weekend weather -- Saturday at least -- was splendid, i spent the days inside at the keyboard. Not on paid work, where i could really stand to make some inroads, but ostensibly on looking into places that could provide care for my mother and grandmother. I posit that if Grandmámá needs to go into assisted living (because dad's cousin is "retiring" at age 80 to go to her own home and kids) she might as well do it in NC.

I resurrected my coding environment which i hadn't used since January, and used GIS APIs to get distances from Dad's current home for places in a medicaid/medicare database (these turned out to be skilled nursing, more appropriate for Mom) and from the state licensing database. I learned all about the specific terminology, read everything at the NIH National Institute on Aging website and made notes, and finally started looking at websites.

details )

--== ∞ ==--

I was happy to get some scripting back.

We watched The Walk, a flim about the highwire walk between the two Trade Center towers, on Friday night. Christine listened to John Adams' On the Transmigration of Souls, watched the televised ceremonies, and then began watching a minute by minute documentary by National Geographic (along with the 9/11 Commission? and the museum?) for some hours. I stopped periodically to observe with her.

Dad visited, and we chatted.

I roasted a tiny delecta squash that volunteered in the garden, okra from the garden, and sweet potato, onion , and baking potatoes on Sunday for lunch for a few days.

We watched a documentary on Hilma af Klint (1862–1944), pioneer of abstract art and mystic. We will likely get the catalog from the Guggenheim show, after renting the documentary to watch it, Christine bought it. The art must be incredibly stunning in person -- the scale! -- while the images sing like my favorites of Kandinsky.

I'm skimming an article about her and find,

"Outside of a few small
shows mainly in Sweden,
her paintings were only first
exhibited in public in 1986
in Los Angeles as part of
Maurice Tuchman’s large,
revelatory show “The Spirit
in Art: Abstract Painting
1890-1985” (which trav-
eled to Chicago and The
Hague) – 42 years after
the death of af Klint."

I saw that show! It was one of the first major art shows i attended, and i still have the catalog. Ha!

Anyhow, must get moving.
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2021-09-04 08:46 am

(no subject)

We had movie night last night, and watched Percy and Goliath with my sister's family and the stuck-in-America three of my brother's family. They get to return to Singapore and two weeks of quarantine in a hotel on the 19th of this month.

A panorama photo with significant distortion of chairs, projector, and screen crammed on our 15" x 15" deck

The movie was rather laconic. I would have liked to hear more about his jars of seeds and what i presume was a germination test bed. Visually, it celebrated wide open spaces, sky and field. There were hints at the politics of the environmental group, but not much on the internal dramas there. The legal tension didn't really build. I think of the fiction Miss Sloan (2019) with a cut throat lobbyist throwing her career behind gun control. That was dramatic. This, not so much. The New York Times' review concludes with the small print, "Rated PG-13. No sex, no guns, no bad words and no idea why the rating."


in·ure | əˈn(y)o͝or | (also enure)
verb
1 [with object] (usually be inured to) accustom (someone) to something, especially something unpleasant: these children have been inured to violence.


Yup. That's the right word.

My brain just sidles around the Texas law, trying not to think about how the legal "theory" it might be used against gender nonconforming folks. I have been mildly amused by "flipping the script" proposals, but i don't want to see such nonsense. [personal profile] dewline and [personal profile] conuly point to [personal profile] wendelah1's post for support of healthcare access in Texas, which is a thing to do, and i am heartened to see that GoDaddy (cough, cough) is no longer supporting one of the tipline websites.

[personal profile] oursin linked to this article about 1950s and current science having ... practitioners believing menstrual blood is toxic, and i don't even....

Spent much of yesterday in the yard. Christine mowed the orchard on Thursday so i had time to do some hand weeding in places. We have a propane tank now and a flame thrower flame weeder. A short experiment has convinced me it should only be used while the ground is wet from dew. Christine is usually cautious, especially with combustibles: i don't think she'd get me such a powerful thing. I don't know if i dare use it anywhere but the drive and brick walk. Still, better than salt or poison.
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2021-08-31 06:25 am

garden, watching notes, procrastination

During lunch break yesterday, i picked stevia then leaves from the wild passionfruit plant and the wild-ish Pycnanthemum tenuifolium, narrowleaf mountain mint, and a variety of my cultivated mints (lemon balm, tulsi, and spearmint). Stevia and the passionfruit leaves were dehydrated. Stevia leaf is just stunning in its sweetness: it's very similar to the processed sweetener if not identical. I'm going to try overwintering the plant. I imagine being able to enjoy stevia sweetened horehound tea this winter. The passionfruit leaves are supposed to be mildly sedative: we'll see. The mountain mint went under vodka to make an extract for the planned bitters project. At the rate at which i drink alcohol, it will take years to go through all of this.

I watched the first episode of Netflix's documentary series High on the Hog yesterday. It's beautifully produced, with drone footage of red roads and waterways in Benin, Africa. I would have liked a bit more detail about the food -- but i can look for recipes from Benin to get a sense of what was being prepared.

Self talk, dissatisfaction )
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2021-01-12 06:35 am

First significant procratination of year (procrastination, watching notes, privacy, quaker notes)

I've tried watching Bridgerton. The first episode didn't grab me. Episodes 2, with the moody Duke's backstory, did engage me, so i found myself binging episodes 3 and 4, which sort of wrapped up an arc of Daphne's debutante season. But, that done, i am less excited about watching the next episode. It is, apparently, a Queen focused episode. A friend really likes the Queen's character and i suppose her wit is made more plain in episode 5?

Spent all Monday morning before work on parsing the data release authorization and the privacy policy for the in home covid test. They want you to use their app and link up your fitness tracker. They've got all sorts of tests that i can see someone with a mysterious autoimmune or nutrient based condition wanting to take regularly to try and figure out what causes what. I am fascinated by what could be learned and horrified about what one might reveal. Until there is better granular control, i am so not interested in the possible benefits over the risks. I can imagine a level of misery at which i would be, though.

Things i avoided Monday:

* preparing meeting for business, i think it's the continued sense of dislocation about purpose.
* recruiter who is good with me working from home, because i feel i should waste an hour of both of our time, but i am very unlikely to want to consider it. [OK, replied]
* replying to a fiend about a time to talk because there's an odd tension in our Dec communications plus Christine went porcupine and i need to decipher the prickles. I don't want more drama.

Fie, there's a length limit on titles.
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2020-11-27 08:09 am

(cooking, observe, watching notes)

Thank you to [personal profile] yourlibrarian who simply wrote that episode 3 of season 2 of The Mandalorian was a better story line. We watched it last night (along with starting The Two Towers) and i was so relieved.

Yesterday was mostly dreary, and my sister had had heightened concern about the virus. We stayed masked at my sister's, and my parents did not come due to the damp. Then we stopped off for a brief visit at my parents. My dad is not going to go to Florida, which relieves me mightily (as i wasn't sure if he would need to.)

This morning my brother called via FaceTime and i had a nice visit with him and the boys.

After much mist this morning, it's now clearing. That should help my mood and energy.

Breakfast was inspired by [livejournal.com profile] tx_cronopio's mention of deviled eggs a few weeks ago. I have since acquired a tube of wasabi and made deviled eggs with wasabi and my own pickled ginger. Pro tip: don't slice the ginger along the grain, no matter how finger prserving it seems to be. The wasabi eggs were yummy. Probably will make again.

My apple pie turned out unexpectedly: none of the apples disintegrating into sauciness, no juicy or gooey bits. Not quite dry, but thinking about it. The bottom crust may have absorbed all the juice: at least it was good tasting butter. On the other hand, i may have not split the reduced juices from before baking at the correct ratio, with half the juice with the smaller collection of apples. The top crust hadn't really baked all the way through: i wonder if that's because i pressed it down onto the apples. It did look gorgeous. And it tasted fine just fine: nothing was rock hard. Someday i may have apples from my own trees and become familiar with how they behave. It seems consistent apple types may be just as much a part of the mystery of consistent apple pies as anyting else.
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2020-11-26 07:14 am

PIE (observe, cooking, covid-19, watching notes)

I've been reading your posts while curled up under the blanket on my phone. It's not conducive to leaving comments.

I'm making pie crust from scratch and have tried to mise en place: i somehow left out 20% of the flour needed in the crust. Fortunately i was blind baking the shell yesterday and not planning on doing the pie until today. The crust went into the oven -- fortunately i hadn't bothered to make a beautiful crimp -- and came out half way through the baking completely slumped down the sides with pools of melted butter at the bottom. After realizing i'd measured two cups not two and a half cups of flour a couple days ago, i sprinkled flour in the pools of melted butter, hoping it will be not terrible. I'm worried that, while gorgeous looking as flaky crust, the crust is actually some tough polymer that will break teeth.

At least a nice juicy apple pie will be baking on that surface and maybe will balance out infelicities -- but what about the top? So, this morning i took my already rolled out sheet. I painted half with ice water, and sprinkled some flour on that. Folded. Paint half with water, sprinkle flour, fold. I think i made three folds and then tried to carefully shape it into an Echo Dot sized lump. I rolled it out again between parchment paper (A++ technique! Would recommend. Start rolling from the middle) and put it back in the fridge for a bit. Hopefully, the fact that i had shredded the butter and barely worked the dough originally will mean the gluten development stays low.

I remember making croissants my senior year of high school and the constant return of the dough to the freezer to try and make the layers. Have i made croissant crust?

--== ∞ ==--

So -- i had about 40% more apples than could fit in the crust, even carefully fitting the slices in a spiral so it would be packed full. So i made a second pie with a Pillsbury crust from the freezer. I really don't understand why there was too many apples. I weighed the apples! I dunno. Anyhow, two pies isn't bad.

The home made crust pie came out with apple juices bubbling around between pie pan and crust. We'll see how crisp that turns out. The second pie i didn't want to bother with blind baking the bottom and discovered i'd preheated the oven with a pizza stone in it. A quick check of the internet hinted that putting the pie on the stone was particularly useful with pies where one risks a soggy bottom. Great! And it looks pretty good, so that's nice. Now i have to WAAAAIIIITTTT to taste how it all turned out.

We are meeting up with my sister's family and my parents for an out door pie eating on this somewhat gloomy day in a few hours.

--== ∞ ==--

In other news, watching Fellowship of the Ring with Christine and finding myself more picky about special effects.

After finding out about the three color code for our counties in North Carolina, we received emergency messages on our cell phones to alert us that the county is now "orange." Oh well, it was nice to feel that things might not be that terrible for a few days.



* Christine sat with me as i watched four of five YouTube videos on rolling out dough. One chef advised a hockey puck shape and size. Christine repeated back the instruction replacing the comparison with an Echo Dot. I nodded, i'd understand THAT instruction but needed the video to explain what a hockey puck size was. "The Echo Dot is Amazon's diminutive, hockey puck-sized Alexa device." "I opted for the Echo “Dot” which, being from North Dakota, I can say looks very similar to a hockey puck with cool “Tron” lights ..." We, being from North Carolina, have far more experience with the Echo Dot we got a year ago than with hockey pucks.
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2020-08-27 07:25 am

Post written Tuesday morning (quaker notes, watching notes, weather)

I woke Sunday feeling optimistic, but Christine had a day full of elephants and it weighted heavy on me. I also carried my feelings about Meeting for Business a bit. A Quaker friend in California who had just given a workshop on Quaker practice wrote me of a comment another had said: "that during the times of The Great Separations [schisms in Quakerism in the US], the two branches of Friends divided up Faith and Practice so that the pastoral Friends took the faith and the unprogrammed Friends took the practice." With those words, i recognize my distress must be similar to that of a person who hews to some strong religious belief that is part of some creed and finds that not everyone believes it. And is shocked, shocked i say.

The difference, which i can't tell if is whiny or real, is ... nope, it's whiny. (In both cases, there's a concern about integrity: i thought we all agreed X, but you say we don't all and it doesn't matter.)

Anyhow. I am still whining about weather, and i know my sedentary ways are part of my problem. Somehow i need to get some physical exercise.

Monday night i watched two episodes of Lucifer's season 5, our usual Monday show*, and then some of Christine's recent obsession with The World's Toughest Race, which has some of the voyeuristic qualities of a reality show tempered with apparent integrity: there are roughly sixty teams of four at the start of the race and they seem to mainly be there for the race, not the show.


* It's the comfortable slipper, entirely predictable show NCIS. Last night we watched Season 9 (2011–12) episode 18, overall episode 204. There are currently 398 eposides, leaving 194 episodes for us to watch at a rate of one a week, roughly three and three quarters years worth, putting us well into 2024 before we run out of episodes. Depending on how soon they will start filming again, it may take even longer to catch up.